Sean Combs makes my life less wonderful, episode #803

"Diddy to promote Red Stripe."

And then Satan laughed.

"Diddy may strike a deal with Diageo, the world's largest brewery company in the world, to promote the Guinness and Red Stripe beer brands, according to Advertising Age. In 2007, the Hip Hop entrepreneur teamed up with Diageo to promote its Ciroc vodka brand."

- Hiphopdx

My official stance on this news is that I most definitely do not under any circumstances care for it.

Upsetting a nerdy bikini-clad blogger is a misdemeanor in most states.

I love Red Stripe with a red-hot intensity--the shape of the bottle, the cheery red & white label, the way I can dupe myself into thinking it's bottled in some plant in Kingston and employs citizens of a poor and exploited country when I'm pretty sure it's from upstate NY or something. Plus I'm a lightweight--I can nurse 1 of 'em for an hour or two.

Me and my precious lager, in happier times.
(no idea why I'm holding it so tightly. Other than, you know, I'm a doofus.)

Ciroc, you'll be hearing from my attorneys for this little stunt. Also, purely from a marketing standpoint, I must ask: Diddy? Really? Was Gucci Mane busy or something? You need to hitch your wagon to his horse and soon you'll have all the kids talkin bout how Red Stripe is so icey! Just a little free advice from the skinny girl in apt. 302.