Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I think we all recall my famous "fornication" post of 2009, and now, lookie here!

I suggest you bring in a little headphone action for this one, kids. This is a professional speaking, I don't think I need to remind you.

"Living Thing," you are all things right now, the sun, the moon, the stars above. Marry me.

Kasabian - "Vlad the Impaler"

Creepazoid, low-res scary goodness.
Sonically, it doesn't sound like much at first...but give it a chance
cuz when the break hits it's all like we're in the Sahara tent at Coachella, it's 11:42 on Sunday night, it's all sweat and bodies and lights and water bottles, and we have to trek back through the field to our cars when it's over and all go back to our real lives tomorrow but let's not think about it at the moment. (Listen to it in headphones, on 11, for maximum effect--it works, promise)

In other news, I believe I have a sick and incestuous relationship with music that shall
never, ever end.

Get loose, get loose!

Kasabian - Vlad the Impaler from Kasabian on Vimeo.

Make you stomp back and forth like an army brigade

Life: a medical condition

Probably belongs in the "No Fucking Way" file, but still.
I love stories like this, scientists reminding us all to calm down, take a breath and a step back,
keep some perspective, ease up on the judging & classifying,
relax your mind/let your conscience be free (oh wait, sorry).
In conclusion...
Love me, love my aberrant behavior.

Life: a medical condition
By Alasdair Cross Producer, Medicalisation of Normality
Monday, 30 March 2009

Is the human condition becoming a medical condition?

Ten per cent of British children are regarded as having a clinically recognisable mental disorder, 34 million prescriptions for anti-depressants were written in the UK in 2007, while it is estimated that 10% of US children take Ritalin to combat behaviour problems.

Dr Tim Kendall, Joint Director of the National Collaboration Centre for Mental Health and a key government adviser is deeply concerned at what he sees as a medicalisation of a vast swathe of society.

He said: "I think there is an inherent danger from increasingly classifying people.

"If you look at the American Psychiatric Association 'bible', you'll see almost every piece of human behaviour can be classified as being in some way aberrant."

Dr Kendall sees dangers in a "tendency for new categories to be invented, often at the behest of drug companies looking for a new drug".

Medical historian, Dr Louise Foxcroft agrees, pointing to ill-defined conditions such as female sexual dysfunction and to the erectile hardness scale promoted by the producers of Viagra which she claims "is a creation of fear and anxiety".

It is certainly not a new phenomenon.

Historical ailments

Dr Foxcroft, author of 'Hot Flushes, Cold Science', has shelves of old medical textbooks stuffed with long-forgotten ailments.

Among them is hysteria, the symptoms of which could range from excessive masturbation to excessive novel reading and a tendency to wander.

Common treatments for hysterical women, and they were invariably women, included opium, the removal of the clitoris and incarceration.

Later, neurasthenia became the fashionable mental affliction, suffered by the likes of novelist, George Eliot and philosopher Immanuel Kant.

These over-worked intellectuals were offered the more convivial option of Priory-style rehab retreats to help ease their troubled minds.

Such ailments and the chance of treatment were once confined to the upper classes but that has changed in the past 20 years.

- Link

Oh Word? (sexytime version)

1. Word etymology, and
2. thick, keyboard-stabbed and drum-looped instrumentals

are really all I need in life, we know this.

Today's word: FORNICATE!

to commit fornication; fornication n. sexual intercourse between unmarried persons.
c.1300, from O.Fr. fornication, from L.L. fornicationem (nom. fornicatio), from fornicari "fornicate," from L. fornix (gen. fornicis) "brothel," originally "arch, vaulted chamber" (Roman prostitutes commonly solicited from under the arches of certain buildings), from fornus "oven of arched or domed shape." Strictly, "voluntary sex between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman;" (good grief, it's so hetero-centric) extended in the Bible to adultery.

* that thing I do aurally with Animal Collective & Portishead & Maceo Parker &
"Coffee Cold" by Galt MacDermot
. OMG, yes please. Pretty please.

LOL, sports edition: Top 10 Athletes Who Are Deadbeat Dads!

I enjoy televised sports competitions of skill and strategy (girly girl, but tomboyish tendencies/interests).
I also enjoy comedic things.
And if we could somehow combine these 2 situations with
a bathing suit,
some records,
and some verbal intercourse,
what we would have here is the holiest of holy compilations of Things That I Need Like the Air I Breathe.

I don't know why this stuff is so interesting/comical to me, but if you guys don't like it I guess you can scroll down to my posts about Ash Roth slowly killing my spirit or my latest girl crush or that Lou Donaldson break.

Shawn Kemp made the list, obvs. A lot of these are just petty and gossip-y, but that's fun so who cares.
I have culled the Best of the Best from the list for you guys--the All-Stars, if you will.
In conclusion, I must give special acknowledgement to the fact that a hockey player placed among the Top 10 (nice!) and the fact that Karl Malone is a bad, bad human being.

6. Karl Malone: likes guns & Beanie Babies & votes Republican. Oh, aaaand:
"NFL tackle Demetrius Bell is an offspring of Karl Malone. Karl has never had any contact with Demetrius, whose mother had him at the age of 13 years old when Malone was a sophomore at Louisiana Tech. When Bell was 18, Malone delivered a harsh message that, according to several reports, amounted to, "It's too late for me to be your father, and you'll earn your money on your own."

5. Evander: "Jesus wants me to procreate."
Born-again Christian.
Ev, 42 wins & 10 losses is pretty good, but your stat of
11 kids with many different ladies is what makes you The Real Deal to me. Swoon.

1. Travis Henry: bad decision-maker all around.
11 kids, 10 different ladies.
Currently incarcerated for not helping to support his 11 kids with 10 different ladies...
and doing an impression of Ricky Ross. (KIs don't always open doors, Trav).

Nick Drake knows what I mean

Monday, March 30, 2009

Camp Lo ft Styles P - "On Smash"

Five. Thousand. Boomin. Watts.
I got so damn excited about that "89 of Crime" sonic masterwork that this is really just an excuse for me to remind you of its sonic masterworkery. (Wa da dey, wa da da dey)

Some real quick self-indulgence from yesterday...

Starring me, in my birthday dress for birthday lunch. Look at my very large head.
Oh dear; not cute.

Starring me, looking like my name is Gianna or Sofia.
"I am just a simple girl from a village near Genoa."

Starring birthday presents I received from those who adore me:

Oh. Worrrrd.

Looks like an L,
but it's actually

I approve of this design. Gimme.

Business card originality & loveliness!

In about 18 minutes these are gonna be passe and/or stupid.
Siddhartha Gautama teaches us, however, that all we have is the present moment.
For now, then, I approve of and enjoy these!

You guys occupy a special place in my heart and that's why I'm giving you the link to download the template here.

- Link


"Staff at Lego have business cards with their details printed on a toy figure which looks like them."

- Link

Things I do not care for, 03/30/09

1. Joe Blogger posting the saaame thangs as every other site. Recent examples of this include:

The new ____________ video (Gucci, Meth/Red, Jeezy).

Kid Cudi's non-retirement.

KanYe & Amber Rose.

"Where the Wild Things Are" trailer.

Originality is the only technique to be sweated right now.
I hope we don't have to have this conversation again.

2. Bill O. and his raging self-involvement and idiocy. (Still, after all these years! It's a classic!)

3. This atrocity. Sign o' the times, mess with my mind.
I do not care for an Auto-Tuned Prince Rogers Nelson. I'm scared; hold me until the hurt goes away.

The Caucasian hip hop universe is collapsing in on itself.

ASH, please see yourself OUT.
I already done told you last year
and earlier this year
and then once again.

"Time's up" -O.C.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

March lunacy

My bracket is NOT KILLING IT.

The professional pipes of Goulet and the last of the real hustlers, Jay-Z

This gets legendary El Oh El status based simply on the phrase "coterie of ne-er-do-wells."

"Ask Merv Griffin" is the motto in '09.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Saturday Knights - "Count It Off"

'Member when rappers looked like this? Things done changed.
I like an MC that looks like he can fix my car and doesn't wear tighter pants than me.

This is the song of the summer, even though it's only late March!

I dare you not to like this.
And I'm serious, you can tell, cuz of my very LARGE FONT.

Sesame Street-ish-ness & dudes with a sense of humor & a catchy hook =
The music gods are smiling upon me this day.

The Saturday Knights - "Count It Off" from Lincoln Leopard Films on Vimeo.

Mixtape design atrocity! Code red!

I look at 8 jillion hip-hop-related sites a day and I'm constantly inundated with these images.
You forgot the glitter & unicorns, gentlemen.

I know these are put out quick, while your hot guest appearance is still relevant, BUT
Crooked I, Jim Jones, Lloyd Banks, et al: there's a lot of money surrounding you guys so your design aesthetic game needs to be tightened up. Just add a little to the budget and spend 5 extra mins. on the graphics, pleeeease.

Sha, camera's over here. Also, let's add the word "Cocaine" on there, because hey, why not.

George Lucas' lawyer is on line 1 for you, Styles P.

That scale should be tipped waaaay more in favor of the stacks of bills. That's just physics.

1. You look uncomfortable holding that firearm, Mr. Banks.
2. That dog looks like Spanky, my 12-year-old blind and feeble black lab.

OK, not sure where to begin here. Too much material.
These dudes won't even be talking to each other next week,
so I hope we can all appreciate the historical significance of this image.
1. Jim Jones, you always look dirty so take a shower please.
2. How you gonna turn the page in your Bible with your hand full of skull like that.
3. Santana looks like he broke the vase when he was playing ball in the house
and he's making the sadface so Mom will go easy on him.

"Logan, gain 15 lbs and YOU are my next mixtape cover model.
There's a Louis bag in it for you, mama."

"Careful, Christopher!" said the zombie, "That crow is trying to eat your luxurious coat!"

The Roots' Walk-On Music Selections For Guests

"The Roots are doing a lot of things to solidify their place as the best band in late night television. They've been hilarious. They've been spontaneous. But did you also notice that they play clever songs when each show guest comes out? We've been keeping track! Here's what they've played as guest intro music so far:

(I've taken the liberty of highlighting the very best for you guys...)

Robert DeNiro: Taxi theme, Bob James
Tina Fey: "Brick House," Commodores
Billy Crudup: "Watching You," Rockwell
Donald Trump: "C.R.E.A.M," Wu-Tang
Serena Williams: "Da Butt," EU
Drew Barrymore: Lick It for 10 theme
Chace Crawford: "Rumors," Timex Social Club
Mario Batali: "Food Glorious Food," Oliver
Amanda Peet: "Amanda," Boston
Rose Byrne: "Beds are Burning," Midnight Oil
Joshua Topolsky: "Computer Love," Zapp and Roger
Emily Blunt: "Americas Most Blunted," Madvillain
Michael Stipe: "Micchecka," Das Efx
Russell Brand: "I Get Lifted," K.C.

Malin Akerman: "Superbad," Jame Brown

Tracy Morgan: "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah," 30 Rock
Jarod Miller's Animals: "Closer," 9 Inch Nails
Gary Sinise: "War," Edwin Starr
Colin Hanks: "Stuntin' Like My Daddy," Lil' Wayne
Bill Paxton: "3 Times a Lady," The Commodores
Kardashians: "3 Times a Lady," The Commodores
Clive Owen: "Two Can Win," J-Dilla
Paul Teutul Sr. : "Bicycle," Queen
Jaime Pressly: "Wild Thing," Tone Loc
Steve Ward: "Bitches Ain't Shit," Dr. Dre
Jason Segel: "Tom Sawyer," Rush
The Amazing Kreskin: "Hypnotize," Notorious BIG
Regis Philbin: "Once in a Lifetime," Talking Heads
Kat Von D: "Color My World," Chicago
Rachel Maddow: "Brain," N.E.R.D.
John Cena: "Champ," The Mohawks
Anthony Jeselnik: "Soul Man""

OK. The Taxi theme. I'm dying.

Billy Crudup was in "Watchmen," I believe.

The Serena Williams one, El Oh El.

Can somebody please somebody explain the Clive Owen and Jason Segel ones? Does not compute.


Friday, March 27, 2009

Drink Up Buttercup - "Of Gods and Gentlemen"

These dudes are derivatively Beatles-esque and I must deduct points for that, but then, who's not derivatively Beatles-esque on some level, you know...

I like this song (give it a couple listens; I didn't like it at first and you won't either)
and their headline on their MySpace page is "kill it,"
and that's enough to get an endorsement from me. I'm easy.
PLUS they have that kind of dirty, indie-music-boy weirdness that's
so homogenous & forced,
makes me hate 'em just a little.
This keeps our relationship complex and interesting, however. See you in the frozen section at TJ's, guys!

Natty Ice, Casio, playing cards, candle holder, plaster arm, tiny bongo drum.
Probably some American Spirits in there too.
Yeah yeah, groundbreaking photo wackiness, gentlemen.

"I will attack you with this broom, on your 10-speed, in the KITCHEN. I am just that wacky."


There's something we need to talk about

Why don't the people who love and care about me drag me here so I can bro down and nerd out??
(and by this, I mean sip my Red Stripe & rap alongside Lord Finesse in my head & people-watch while dudes don't talk to me because they think I don't speak English*)

I guess I didn't know the ledge.

Everybody just lets me do what I wanna do (stay in, listen to records, lounge around) because I am so stubborn and charming but sometimes I need some guidance, please realize.

Next week, you better run a tighter ship and make sure I get my white-shirt-and-heels-and-jeans-clad-self (always, I'm always wearing this) to this tour de force.
Going out is the new staying in is the new going out.

* Too many times to count, I've been told this. I'm not imagining things.

"Where are you from?"
"Where's your mom from?"
"Where's you dad from?"
"Are you part Persian?"
"Brazil, right?"
"Greek & Irish?"
"De onde você é?"

swirls on his wall like a comet's tail

Why don't you come over & eat ice cream & watch "Tim and Eric" on Adult Swim with me.

"I'm teaching your SON about the UNIVERSE."

Mos Def has a dude crush on Zev Love X

OMG, I love "Rapp Snitch Knishes" too! We have so much common ground, Mos, I don't know why you and I ever broke up.
It's '04 again when you listen below!
(Doom produced it himself; and yeah, sorry for the nerding out)

"to all rappers: shut up, and while you shuttin up put a shirt on, at least a button-up"

Rapp Snitch Knishes feat. Mr. Fantastik - MF DOOM

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Zshare skip wait time code!

Hey young world! I have posted many, many links to download songs that I have deemed worthy of your ears, and I am pleased to announce that I've found a way that no longer requires you to sit through Zshare's lame wait time! Once you hit the "Download Now" link, copy and paste this into the URL and you're done:

javascript:var time=0;

More football!

You people should know by now that I am an NFL dork, an NCAA football dork, and a Fantasy Football dork.
My super cute fleur-de-lis bathing suit is, in fact, in honor of the Saints (my NFC team).

Michael Turner got me allkindsa points last year on my fantasy team, whereas Kellen Winslow was not killing things due to a stomach virus and an extended case of being a massive crybaby.

NFL Owners Will Vote to Lengthen Season, Goodell Says

"DANA POINT, Calif. — National Football League owners could vote in May on plans to lengthen the regular season to 17 or 18 games. The longer regular season, however, is unlikely to begin any earlier than 2011, Commissioner Roger Goodell said Monday at the N.F.L.’s annual meeting. Adding at least one regular-season game while reducing the preseason schedule is a critical component of what Goodell called “increasing value” — the league’s attempt to find new revenue while remaining attractive to fans in the challenging economic climate. There is almost no chance that the regular season will remain at 16 games."

54 percent not getting any younger over here

Millions of Americans can just forget about the fucking bus ever showing up when it's fucking supposed to.

Everything Taking Too Long
March 24, 2009

"WASHINGTON—An overwhelming sense of restlessness and impatience engulfed the U.S. this week when citizens determined that everything—the morning commute, phone conversations, getting a table at Chili's, making coffee, commercial breaks, everything—was taking entirely too long.

"This is ridiculous," said Boston resident Joe Sosnoff, waiting for a subway train running behind schedule. "I don't have time for this. I seriously do not have time for this."

"You've got to be kidding me," San Francisco market researcher Tim Martin told reporters while waiting for ESPN.com to load on his desktop computer. "Come on."

People across the country were forced to put up with this maddeningly slow bullshit all week.

A CBS News/New York Times poll revealed Tuesday that Americans are split into three separate camps when it comes to the growing national frustration: Those who think everything is taking too long; those who think everything is taking too goddamn long; and a third fringe group that believes everything is taking fucking forever.

Further analysis revealed that 54 percent of respondents are not getting any younger over here. Nearly 10 percent don't understand what the big holdup is. And 23 percent are not only ready, but have been ready for the past half hour, so let's go already. While citizens said that a few things, such as lunch, dinner, and sleep, could afford to go on for much longer, everything else reportedly needs to get moving pronto as people have places to be."

- Link

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You wanna battle for cash and see who Sun Tzu?

Rae. He looks determined without being ruthless.

Redman & Method Man feat. UGK - "City Lights"

Fresh from giving me a haircut, Reggie and Clifford slow it down and dumb it down (in a good way, of course) and make a run through Texas in an attempt to please my ears.
Well done, gentlemen.
After all these years, they still know how to capture my heart! Swoon.

Today a GOOD DAY; I know, don't jinx it.

The Grouch feat. Scarub & Bicasso - "Hot Air Balloons"

(Real quick--new Death Cab, "A Diamond and a Tether," so beautiful)

OMG kids, my ears are telling me it's the summer of '96!
Fuck the Dumb & Don't Talk to Me, cuz I'm listening to this on repeat.

As the authority on sorta-indie Cali rap music (thankyou), my assessment is:

the beat is lovely
the chorus is eh
02:11 - 02:20 is ALL THINGS to me at the present time!

Uriel Jones...

Drummers don't ever seem to get recognition unless

they're self-destructive and are always involved in hijinks (I'm looking at you, Keith Moon & John Bonham)

or have 1 arm (Rick Allen)

or move along to other instruments (Dave Grohl, Josh Homme)

or are an anomaly cuz they're a girl (Sheila E.).

I have listened to this song OH SO MANY TIMES in life and its shut-it-down-ness has not subsided in the slightest.
Thank you, wondrous drummer Mr. Jones.

Also played on:
"Tracks of My Tears"

"What Becomes of the Brokenhearted"
"Ain't That Peculiar"
"I Heard it Through the Grapevine"
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough"

"The Dirty Garage"

"Sometimes I wish I could fit an entire heart inside of my heart
but my heart's not big enough
is why I need your heart."

Link, in case Blogger continues to act all bitchy and not show the video below that I lovingly and carefully embedded.

Random Tribute: Pirkle Jones

"There's no such thing as objectivity."

A Black Panther demonstration on July 30, 1968, at the Alameda County Courthouse in Oakland during Huey P. Newton’s trial.

"Pirkle Jones, a California photographer admired for his stirring images of migrant workers, endangered landscapes and social movements, including a controversial series on the Black Panthers at the height of their activism in the late 1960s, died March 15 in San Rafael. He was 95.

His best-known work includes a collaboration with (Dorothea) Lange called "The Death of a Valley 1956," which portrayed the Berryessa Valley in Napa County during the year before completion of the Monticello Dam that flooded the valley; "Walnut Grove 1961," a series Jones shot with his wife, Ruth-Marion Baruch, which documents a dying Sacramento River town; and "Black Panthers 1968," also in collaboration with Baruch, which caused a furor for its sympathetic view of the black power movement.

According to Wride, Jones and his mentor disagreed about the extent to which political concerns entered into Jones' art, but Jones saw the simple act of taking a photograph as a political act. "There's no such thing as objectivity," he once explained in an interview.

Jones, who with his wife belonged to the Peace and Freedom Party, made no secret of the fact that his purpose in photographing the Black Panthers was, as he told the San Francisco Chronicle in 2002, "to show them the way we saw them -- as human beings."

During the four months in 1968 that he and Baruch focused their lenses on the radical group, they produced a number of emblematic shots from the campaign to free Huey P. Newton, the Panther leader who was facing voluntary manslaughter charges for the murder of an Oakland police officer.

The Panther photographic essay caused an uproar; even Adams advised Jones to drop the project. The controversy almost caused San Francisco's De Young Museum, which was mounting them in a show, to cancel the exhibition, but after union leaders and art critics intervened, the museum went ahead with its plans. The show drew 100,000 visitors.

"I had professional clients who said, 'What in the world are you doing photographing Panthers?' I'd just sort of shrug my shoulders. I did not make a big speech about it. I did the talking through the photographs.""

Huey P. Newton and attorney, Charles R. Garry, at the Alameda County Courthouse Jail, Oakland, CA 26 Sept 1968.

SIDE NOTE: Mr. Newton, kids, is swagger in the form of a human male. SWAG-GERRRRR.

Wayne, Officer Rick, every Dipset-er, T.I.:
Until you get your Karl Marx and Frantz Fanon and CA Penal Code game tight,
become the Minister of Defense for anything,
start community outreach programs,
then get try to get done in by COINTELPRO,
then get your murder case dropped...

please see yourselves out.

Tyler Durdennnn

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Peter Bjorn & John - "Nothing to Worry About" (Live@Fader Fort, SXSW)

GODDAMMIT if I don't love some Swedish guitars n beats n catchy hooks!
I wish I had been there. Sigh. Sigh sigh.

Del - "Get It Right Now"

New Del! I'm sure everyone is posting this right now, but have I mentioned it's NEW DEL?
It's New Del!

The beat is so blaring and weird and loud; everyone says it sounds like they looped a car alarm.
Luckily, blaring and weird and loud usually means I love it with passion.
The beat is good.

I need a magical little thing called the instrumental of this in order to make my life complete.
There's nobody more predictable than me. Sigh.

To quote ajfleury3 on the YouTubes, "beat is heavy son."

L.A.U.S.D. - "Curly Tops and Nautica Jackets"

My boss likes me to work when I'm at work,
even though I'd rather be listening to mixtapes put out by local talent.
What I'm saying is, I haven't actually heard this yet since I'm sitting in the office...

'Sgood, though. I can tell.

- Download link

EDIT: I'm not psyched. Wah-wahh. "Starter Jackets" makes me happy just cuz of Nas's voice (Jansport J, may I have the instrumental, pretty please? Also, you are so young and so killing it already! Nicely done!).


that Pac Div one is not so cute to me, and what's worse is that I get the feeling it's being directed at us lady types (topic of cheatin', female singer on the hook, slowness on the beat). That's condescending and please don't do that.
Cheating is a hard enough topic in real life; I don't need to hear yet another hot 16 about it.

But the EP is out today, and it's got "Mayor" on it and that's a lot more appealing to my lady ears.

OMG, that Les Miz shirt. Gimme.

"Seen many visions of love and splendor/I'm the real thing, not like a pretender" *

Oh Twitter.

"ha, i love the andy warhol quote. are you even real or like a lonelygirl15 type of thing?"

- rafikam

* Greg Nice

Mark Ronson producing new Duran Duran album

Seven and the Ragged Tiger-era Simon LeBon*, Ronson is going to swagger-jack you next.

You have been warned.

PS: Everybody likes "Rio," and everybody likes "Hungry Like the Wolf." But if you don't like "The Reflex" then you're just not trying and I cannot allow you to ever see me naked.
That chorus, people! Please realize!

The Reflex [7" Version] - Duran Duran