Showing posts with label Men I'd let boss me around. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men I'd let boss me around. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

"They're never gonna know that I move like hell" (why D'Angelo covering that Zeppelin song makes ridiculously perfect sense)






The story goes that swans are silent their entire lives, then cry out once, only when they are dying.

It’s not a true story, mind you—swans are loud and make grating honk noises—but it’s pretty and sad, and that’s why we hold onto it. In 1974, Led Zeppelin named their sparkling new post-Atlantic label Swan Song in tribute to the (untrue) swan-death myth. The label’s logo, a winged, brolic angel crying in pain, is taken from a painting done in tribute to the swan-death myth. The actual myth is Greek, and says that in ancient times, just before Apollo’s birth, a flock of swans circled overhead exactly seven times, singing. Apollo was the god of music; his birth was a glorious event and swans announcing it seems just right. But at some point the story got flipped. A "swan song" is now a death cry—a wrong, ironic meaning that’s now forever part of the Zeppelin story. D’Angelo emerged a couple weeks ago in Tennessee and covered Zeppelin, a glorious event. Somethingsomething Jesus, resurrection, the people rejoicing. The part in D'Angelo's story where the irony comes in is when he put out an album in 2000 with songs about hair pulling and ass smacking (track 3), and something about wetness and thighs (you know the track). The label that released it: Virgin.





D’Angelo’s set at Bonnaroo contained nothing from Voodoo except for a snippet of "Chicken Grease." But because it's D'Angelo, earnest and sober (I think?) and in front of some keys, the audio from the show is still on daily rotation in my headphones thanks to the download link that’s not too hard to find (GO NOW, if you haven’t already GO GO GET IT GO). The setlist contains nothing surprising—Mayfield, The Time, Johnny “Guitar” Watson, Parliament of course. The Beatles’ “She Came in Through the Bathroom Window” fits in especially nicely, with its weird words and that great drum break after each bar. But it’s his version of Led Zeppelin’s "What Is and What Should Never Be" that lifts the set into next-levels territory. The track bangs, yes, satisfying my heart's need for grown-man emo and my lower body’s need for bass. But it also satisfies my hungry nerd brain, because its back story makes it such a logical choice for him to cover.

A D’Angelo-Zeppelin meetup was probably bound to happen. Voodoo was recorded at Electric Lady studios; most of Zeppelin’s albums were mixed there. Jimmy Page and D’Angelo are both Rhodes guys, calm and bosslike on the instrument. Robert Plant and D’Angelo each had unpleasant periods involving car crashes and general coke mayhem. And "What Is…," a dreamy little number at its beginning, settles into that mid-tempo BPM that D'Angelo always slays so easily. "Devil's Pie" has a BPM of 90; "Me and Those Dreamin' Eyes of Mine" is 87. "Lady" is 85, and so is the Zeppelin song. "Do do, bop bop a do-oh," wails Plant at the end of it. The part could be lifted from a Soulquarians vamp session and you wouldn't know the difference. "My my my my, my-my yeahhh." You wouldn't know the difference. D'Angelo and Robert Plant are men who are both fluent in Rural Southern--even though the commonwealth of Virginia is a little too close to Yankee territory for it to be taken seriously as a bluesy place, and Plant is from a town in the English midlands famous for its carpets.

D’Angelo is uncomfortable with his burden of sexiness. I know this from reading Questlove interviews. His public persona is almost swaggerless when it comes to sex (almost). Plant is much more comfortable with his aura of steam and lust - he wrote "What Is..." during his Tolkien-obsession phase and somehow managed to inject unsexy hobbit mythology into Sonny Boy Williamson-esque heavy-riffed gut punchers that he'd sing to willing, sexy girls in the third row. Plant became obsessed with Welsh culture in the late '60s, druids and the like, mysticism, paganism. (Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, when pagans have historically witnessed the sunrise at places like Stonehendge, marking the event with ceremonies celebrating fertility. So, this post could've just as easily been about D'Angelo and Spinal Tap.) The thing in the song that "was" but that "should never be," according to rumor and speculation and this is as good as the gospel to music dorks, is, hold up now: Plant's relationship with his wife's sister. Well goddamn. The theme of forbidden desires could therefore link Zeppelin's "What Is..." with every D'Angelo-tagged post on MediaTakeout (D'Angelo's own forbidden desires being, of course, narcotics, fatty food and mouthsex). But this is too easy, too shallow. It's more interesting to consider that Tolkien, like D'Angelo, grew tired of the fans who loved his dumbed-down work. He saw himself primarily as a scholar, not a fairy-tale writer, and he hated that The Lord of the Rings was his biggest success. He would not have cared for Robert Plant's great fondness for Mordor.

Written in a Tolkien haze, the thing that makes "What Is and What Should Never Be" so satisfying as a song covered by D'Angelo of all people is the very specific type of alienation shared by the two men. They are both people whose messages get distorted when they try to talk to us. "Everybody I know seems to know me well," goes the closing verse, with the punchline being that nobody who bought their books/albums actually does. For D'Angelo it was his abs, for Tolkien it was his fantasy writings; they both felt a deep resentment for being praised for what they felt were their least important achievements. Tokien's Hobbit and LOTR were his attempt to construct what he referred to as a "body of myth" - which happens to be exactly the same phrase used by ladies in describing D'Angelo's form in the "Untitled" video, much to his dismay.

I am neither a pagan nor a Pentecostal at this point. Things are still cloudy for me, belief-wise. Though if God actually exists he will obviously one day fulfill my dream of hearing D’Angelo do the Ohhhh, oh-oh-ohh-ohh-OHHHH to open "D'yer Mak'er." Its BPM is 90. He'd kill it.



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Friday, April 22, 2011

Skepticism: variations on a theme.


1. "Fishermen and members of the community listen to Ken Feinberg, administrator of the BP claims fund, on March 28 at a public meeting in Mathews, La." (Julia Rendleman/The Houma Courier/AP)


The Big Picture's latest collection of hi-res beauty focuses on the Gulf oil spill, one year later. No more problems, everyone's back to work, says the Logan who lives in a fairy tale. Turns out the region's delicate ecosystem thrives on oil. Birds and fish are making love, churning out new generations. A butterfly landed on a rock in an estuary, flapped its wings twice in the sunshine, then flew off to go make butterfly love.









2. The King of the Universe/Master of Puppets/Mr. Dynamite/HBIC in a NY Mag interview.

Other than turning up in those files on Biggie's murder the FBI released, cutting off his own arm then chewing it up and swallowing it, or showing up on the doorstep of apt. 680 and announcing he's moving in to base the hell outta me every night, nothing Brandon does should be able to surprise you. It's April 2011, in this, the Year of Our Lord, and he's been rearranging the pieces on the cosmic chess board for a couple years now. So I rolled my eyes when I heard about that upcoming album title because his "Look at me, listen to me" hustle is unrivaled. Seemed like a big ploy to make RSS feeds quiver, go dumb with excitement. It worked. (Please consult the Internet--maybe type in "Lil B" and "gay," then stand back).

But then I remembered that, just like a dude isn't necessarily gay because he's grindin in his tiny pants, an artist isn't necessarily thinking about selling product when he names his product a certain thing. I'm deferring to my hopes and dreams here, embracing my inner Pollyanna, and just going with the assumption that Lil B really means it when he says he's a gay ally, a supporter of GLAAD. Lil B cleaned up all the oil in the Gulf, solved the Biggie murder, made love to a butterfly, showed up on American Idol and cut off his own arm and fed it to Mister Cee while Faces of Death 7 played behind them on a huge screen. Lil B has successfully introduced me to post-skepticism. I'm living in the Brandon Epoch and for that I am eternally glaad. Still waiting to hear what he thinks of the topless pics I sent him; I believe he and I would make a good duo, despite our one tiny difference - I do support putting other people down (as long as the people being put down are not me or anyone I care about, or a poor person or a disabled person, and as long as the putting-down is done with stylish flair, over a beat).







Harlem - "Gay Human Bones."

mp3.






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Saturday, March 27, 2010

James | David | O'Shea | Boys | Vendys





1. When I'm in line at Coffee Bean and I see on the TV behind the cashier that Mexico's 'King of Heroin' has been caught and the first thing that comes into my head is "King Heroin" by James Joseph Brown, my father would say his job raising me has been a success.
(Other than the part about me buying corporate coffee. Sorry, Pop.)



Photo above selected due to the fact that the I'm financed in China, ran in Japan/I'm respected in Turkey and I'm legal in Siam part in this song is oddly exactly like something Ali would've said into a microphone in 1966!

mp3.






2.


9th Wonder producing David Banner sounds like something that came to me in a dream last night, or maybe while daydreaming in line at Coffee Bean, but my computer tells me IT'S TRUUUUE. I predict with great confidence that this will be my favorite album of 2010, and then my favorite of 2013 (I'll shelve it, then find it when I'm flipping through a record crate, and put it on the platter for another month straight). Like what happened with me and "Cadillac on 22s" in '03 and '07, remember?






3.



"They can't make a name for themselves so they need help from the O.G.'s. I refuse to throw 'em a life line. Fuck 'em. It ain't my job to make nobody famous."


"I was sick of babysitting grown ass men and walking them through the industry. I felt like Dr. Frankenstein building uncontrollable monsters. How? If you DON'T make 'em a star, they blame you. If you DO make 'em a star, they leave you. I got sick of that ungrateful shit."



Ice Cube, for your information, is not a mentor or a helper or a babysitter or even a nice dude if you're an LA rapper on the come up. Sowwy. He feels no responsibility to help boost local MCs. I love this story because obviously I prefer my rappers baggy-pants-clad, distant, and pissed-off, thankyouverymuch, but also because it's Ice Cube. Ice Cube is untouchable. He likes the Raiders, he's friends with Hank Shocklee, he'll never ever pop up in a Justin Bieber video (LUDA!). I mean, outside of his film career, there are no credible jabs one can throw. I'm a nice girl and I want everyone to get along but everyone getting along reaches boring levels quite rapidly. There's just something so delicious and fun about a talented grumpy old dude yelling at the kids to get off his lawn, especially since I'm on the old dude's side in this case. Also, I just really, really like a classic, well-placed "Fuck 'em." More, please.






4. Men take more risks when pretty girls are around, says science. This is true, like when rappers talk about being the coolest shit and putting their Gretzky on; it's a risk-taking venture, because girls don't like dudes who brag about themselves and even fewer girls like hockey. Think it through next time, Lloyd. And yes, I am choosing to interpret this line as actual hockey gear since "Gretzky" is simply too stupid of a word for "diamonds" for me to acknowledge.

If your weakness is lady bloggers with hips and a slight case of social anxiety disorder, I suggest going NBA or maybe Division I? I like an old Carmelo Syracuse jersey myself, but if you're going more modern and you're near the greater LA area, Artest is always nice. I mean, really, anything but LeBron.










5. Something called the Vendy Awards are coming to LA in May to judge and honor the best street food. You'll be able to vote online, a final cook-off winner will be decided based on "flavor, portability and personality," and a big bash where you can taste wares from all the entrants will be held at MacArthur Park--where you can also get a Social Security number and something powdery from Asia that might be cut with Fentanyl (careful). I'm just saying, it's a good place to get one's various needs met.

Cue my eye-roll when I hear that this event costs $50 (!), except for the fact that "the Vendys are linked to the Asociacion de Loncheros, the grassroots organization that stands up for the rights of neighborhood taco trucks, rather than the SoCal Mobile Food Vendors Association, which reps trendy new trucks." Plus the Vendy Awards are the culminating event of the first national street vending conference, "Contesting the Streets: Vending, Open-Air Markets, and Public Space," that runs through the weekend at UCLA. That $50 gets you all-you-can-eat street food, with proceeds going to the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles and the UCLA Downtown Labor Center. I'll wear my yellow dress, you throw on that pretty orange Carmelo jersey. It's a date.





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Friday, January 29, 2010

I got a love joooooones for your body and your skintone




Men and women get jealous over their romantic partners for different reasons, says science, and it's all because we're unevolved beasts ruled by our lizard brains, seeking pleasure, food, water, and another beast to make babies with that won't run off and make babies with every other beast in the village.


But men and women differ on what kind of cheating they think is the worst - women are bothered more by men's emotional infidelity and a soulful kind of connection with other females, whereas men find women's sexual infidelity more painful and difficult to forgive.

The widespread evolutionary explanation posits that men rank sexual infidelity as the greater sin because over the eons they learned to be hyper-vigilant about sex, as they could never be absolutely certain that their children were actually theirs. Women, on the other hand, became more bothered by emotional infidelity, because they are concerned about having a partner to help raise their children. [LiveScience]


All of us Wu babies are well-versed in this logic. The rule for girls in Loud/Rawkus/Def Jam-based relationships is that you can do whatever you want, just a) don't bring shame upon this family and b) wear clothes that cover your ass. And when Meth told me in '94 Never ever give my p---y away, I LISTENED. Ticaaaaaal.



(By the way, Meth is just fine with me giving my emotional intimacy, daily reports on the events of my life, requests for foot massages, and frequent music nerd discoveries away. Sigh. No more rappers for me in twentyten, you guys.)





I swear to god I hope we fuckin DIE together.
This is, coincidentally, exactly what Marvin Gaye told Tammi Terrell back in '67. “You're All I Need to Get By.”

mp3.



You You're Awesome - “For the Queen.” An apt. 302 girly classic, discovered last year. Swoon.

mp3.




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Thursday, January 21, 2010

A year and a day.


Jan. 20, 2009:

“President-elect Barack Obama was about to walk out to take the oath of office. Backstage at the U.S. Capitol, he took one last look at his appearance in the mirror.” (Official White House photo, Pete Souza)



Obamic Accomplishments lauded in apt. 302: Economic stimuli of varying sorts, health care (pre-Massachusetts straight fucking it all up), the Nobel, tax credits to offset the cost of tuition, more health insurance for more kids. And, of course: BO! Also, the Muslim world hates us a teeny bit less these days. Yes dear, of course he could be doing better. We all could. But basically, enjoy the man's feats thus far and stop throwing salt in my game. I'm looking at you, people who frequently email me to call me out on my "crush on the President." Barry O is the truth!, even if it takes you a little longer than me to see it.

I am the bard and I am the last one/I am the king and this is my castle.
I'd also like to add And you can bet your ass.



. . .

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Robert F. Diggs: notes on a theme.

Venn diagram of everything I need in life:





! !!!! !!!!!! !


(There's the corny requisite sea of pale arms waving to and fro at the beginning, and this is no doubt a commercial that is trying to sell me something, but honestly, if I bothered to get upset every time the Wu was commodified I'd be an unhappy young lady.)


a) I've watched the video, it stimulated me, and now I'm sufficiently amped enough to get through the next 3-4 days of work this week. The video cuts off just before the scene where Rizzy scoops up a crew of sensitive rappers Who Will Not Be Seeing Me Naked and drops them off at Ikea on a Saturday at 1:00 PM, AKA Hell, just 'cause I'd like to see something like that. (It's in the director's cut, that scene.)

b) On Christmas, I'm asking for this sound to follow me and start playing whenever I enter a room. THANKS, SANTA.

c) Weed might cause testicular cancer but it has no effect on fertility! SOON COME: me seducing Wu's head nerd in order to disperse our combined DNA across this beautiful, terrible land. Go forth and multiply, say the music gods to Robert and me. (resulting tiny humans with natural musical ability, a sarcastic streak, Rae for a godfather, an awkward side, and a mean waist-to-hip ratio pending.)








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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Producers causing problems and it is comical, pt. 2

Black Milk accidentally erased all my vocals.

- Sean P., describing the latest in the producer-fucking-up epidemic that's sweeping Planet Rap
(XXL)


MegaSean is a true comedian, right? Like Dangerfield or Carlin or Pryor or Doomsies or Redman or, I don't know, ME. Nothing new there. However, I just learned that the brokest rapper I know (and I know a LOT of broke ones) doesn't mind when the vocals get erased and handles it with good-natured humor, signs on to work with Guilty even though he hasn't heard of him, and will work at Costco to feed his children.

um, attention please, Sean's sort of like my perfect dude - ?



XXL: What’s the status of the Mic Tyson album and the Random Axe project with Guilty Simpson and Black Milk?

Sean Price: The Random Axe project got delayed because Black made his little boo-boo and erased all my vocals. I’m not trying to throw him under the bus ’cause I didn’t even discuss it until he said it in another interview first, but he erased my vocals. I’m actually rewriting all my verses...(and) I started working on Mic Tyson. It’s about 14 songs on that album, ’cause a fight is 12 rounds, plus the intro and outro so that’s what it’s gonna be. (despite hating pugilism, HeightFiveSeven approves of this from a conceptual standpoint)


XXL: How’d you even link up with Guilty and Black in the first place?


SP: I was on tour and some dude called my man Dan Green and asked me did I want to do a song with Guilty Simpson. Me being the rap whore that I am I was like, Sure. Then, I hung up and was like, “Who the fuck is Guilty Simpson?”


XXL: Since you’re growing tired of the politics of the rap game what’s on the horizon for you after these releases?

SP: Next year you might find me workin’ in Costco or some shit. I’m dead ass serious, ’cause I don’t got money like that to retire and fall back on a yacht. People might say, “Yo, man, you supposed to be here and blah blah.” Yeah, I’m supposed to be but guess where I’m at? Costco. Now don’t get it twisted, I’m not starvin’ and I’m good, but I don’t give a fuck about pride. My kids can’t eat pride, so as long as I take care of my family I don’t give a fuck.



Easygoing, trusting, self-deprecating, willing to put pride aside to take care of his brood:


MANHOOD, Y'ALL.




Random Axe - “Monster Babies.” Because my head hurt when I started to try to pick 1 song to post, so I went with this one because the melancholy Detroit beat that's about a half-second behind, plus that haaa! that fades away, is a little somber and reminds me of the way that fall makes me miss summer. It's a frigid 63 degrees F this morning in Los Angeles.
(And because grown men in baggy denim trousers with sparkling wit who do simply do not give the slightest fuck about LE boutique tees will never ever die in apt. 302. MANHOOD, Y'ALL.)

mp3.


PS - “Run.”

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Sunday, October 4, 2009

Life Lessons, 10/04/09


1. Old boring people will always hate the rap music and will always try to kill it. And not kill it in a good way, like Meth kills it on ‘The What’.” I mean, kill it, like prevent it from existing. The latest round involves Plies and some Florida politicians but, really, the names and dates are interchangeable here. 1992, is that you?

The hip hop will be banned in, uh, Fort Myers, thanks to crybaby city officials who are dismayed that somebody got stabbed at a recent Plies concert and think Plies' music has anything at all to do with the fact that somebody got stabbed. For the record, city leaders also do not care for the sexual themes in Chuck Berry's music and they know for a fact that Judas Priest makes the kids go on murder sprees.

It's sad, you know? I feel sorry for grouchy old people who need hobbies 'cause they are bored. But try to stop the rap music and you might as well try to stop the sun, gravity, or human fornication. In conclusion: fall back, grandpa. We're not gonna take it/No. We ain't gonna take it.







2. a) In an amusing anecdote about a drug deal, it's the details that sell your story. b) The ladies are constantly wavering between Tim Roth and Michael Madsen in terms of "strangely foxy older dude who makes everything better in cinema" award.

(The ladies = mostly just me)


Motherfucker,

I'm trying to watch
The Lost Boys.







3. In a related Lesson, be careful in life 'cause the long-haired hot girl in a flowy skirt might be a vampire.


Laugh out loud re: this crew purportedly being edgy/frightening.
1987 was a simpler time, yall.





Gerard McMann - “Cry Little Sister”

mp3.

Not
those Lost Boyz, silly.






4. Nobody likes a musical genre overlap masturbatory studio session just for the sake of. Specifically, 2003's low-budget version of Donovan and the almighty Gary Grice working together is just wrong in multiple ways. I mean, really. Shit's played.


Paste says Devendra Banhart and GZA are going to collaborate. And of course everybody's using words like “enigmatic” to describe this pairing. “It's bizarre and surprising, yet makes perfect sense!” they say. Devendra annoys me* and I am a hater, so I call this pairing “stupid and please stop it. Also, IT'S GZA. The term surprising is never applicable. He has a spaceship, is the subject of Ken Burns' next documentary, and raises champion Bassett Hounds. (I'm pretty sure.) He could burst through the door at the Roman Polanski trial, interrupt the proceedings and kick a hot new verse and it would not surprise me and should surprise none of you. Because he's GZA.

*The alpha and omega of grizzled sensitive white man Topanga Canyon rock is a little thing I call After the Gold Rush. Everything else is just resin.

This all started when GZA heard Baby,Banhart's first single off of his upcoming album, and freestyled over it. I'm guessing this wrecked shop (even though they leave that part out of the article) because, again, he's GZA. Then he and Devendra had a bro rendezvous at Coachella. Devendra has to brag about it, but I probably would too: I played Coachella, and, lo and behold, I looked on the sidelines and there was GZA. I was stunned," Banhart says. So we hung out and talked—we talked about atomic energy and how the sun is powered. We talked about dark matter. Not surprising. He's GZA.

Devendra talks about his admiration for Gizzy through this boring story about being a young punk and falling under the spell of Liquid Swords, skating and making Wu stickers to put on his board. (Unless your name's Sean Sheffey, YAWN.) He's a legend. He's untouchable. He's an avatar, an iconoclast. It's the GZA, gushes Devendra, whose old art-school friends probably coached him to say that. And you can't fuck with the GZA. Well, yes, but only when backed by the sound of some dragons breathing, ninjas jumping out of trees, pots and pans clanging. I don't need to hear him over a floaty & gentle acoustic guitar. And I don't care for music collabs just for the sake of. And get a haircut and a real job, Dev.


That said, I like Baby! People, I'm nothing without my contradictions.

mp3.




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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Episode 869: the one where epic historical men debate the sexual allure of female intelligence.




- Leonardo da Vinci,
who clearly has not experienced sexytimes with a nerd. So sad.




But thennnn

Francis Albert Sinatra comes through in the clutch,






And thennnn


Tariq steps up to the plate, points to center field, and proceeds to hit it out the park like I'm a little kid in the hospital with cancer who he'd made a promise to that morning.

(All ladies, including this lady, are willing to share space in Black Thought's heart with weed and fine fabrics)




Unfortunately, this Pennsylvania hotness circa '99 was produced by noted coke monkey and THIS GUY, Storchy.
Just do like I do and pretend it wasn't.



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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Self-Esteem Wednesday with Muhammad Ali.

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Superman don't need no seat belt.


(there's a context for this, but I like it better without one)





It's a divine fight. This Foreman - he represents Christianity, America, the flag. I can't let him win. He represents pork chops.






Aaron Neville - "Hercules."

I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE IN A WORLD THAT SOUNDS LIKE THIS SONG; PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. K, THANKS.


mp3.


Like a bird, on the wing

I just wanna be free enough to do my thing
I can feel the pressure, from every side
If you ain’t gonna help, don’t hurt - just pass me by.

Aaron Neville circa '73, you're ready for a woman who doesn’t take life too seriously and knows how to enjoy a moment, and doesn’t see limitations of imagination, is a fine cook, and who doesn't talk a whole lot. Call me.



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Saturday, August 1, 2009

Random Tribute: Rapaport's speech in "Beautiful Girls"



Before we were inundated with x amount of cinematic vehicles for grown-up white men to talk about how hard it is for them to be grown-up white men (hi Judd Apatow, and please see yourself out, Judd Apatow), there was this Beautiful Girls situation that happened during a magical time of wonder and merriment called, say it with me now: THE NINETEEN-NINETIES! These days, of course, I have no interest in seeing dudes on the big screen talking about Life Issues with their boys or painfully analyzing whether the prospective wife is really gonna maintain it as the ride-or-die chick after the wedding--it's kinda boring, I could be doing other things with my time, and this topic is always handled as if ladies don't go through this same experience of wondering whether The One is really The One.
But nobody likes a complain-y lady blogger (myself included) so lemme get back to the sweetness and light and nerdiness that you guys all seek from HeightFiveSeven Enterprises.

OhandbythewaydidImention that the movie is pretty great? (I promise I'm not just saying that 'cause of the special place I have in my '80s-hiphop-nerd heart for Yo! MTV Raps). All the boys in the crew are so goddamn sweet (Max Perlich can do no wrong), they don't care about Louis V luggage or diamond baguettes, they appreciate a blonde-highlight-haired skinny girl who likes sports, plus I bet you they could fix my car or at least tell me why it's making that rattling sound.

PS, as a young lady with a smart mouth and a dude's name, I must give an extra loud shout to Johnny up the street from my parents' house who immediately started calling me "Marty" after the movie came out in '96. I didn't appreciate this until years later.
(Sorry, Johnny! Thank you, Johnny!)



And now, I present to you Mike Rap's best work since working at PopCopy, naming his son after Maseo in De La, and almost getting a hit put out on him by the Mau Maus.

A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high, full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, in the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are - bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.
A beautiful girl is all-powerful, and that is as good as love.
That's as good as love.




Scott Rosenberg wrote the lines; he also worked some screenwriting magic for High Fidelity, which you can totally see, right? (white men, wounded psyches...stop me if you've heard this before)



Neil Diamond - "Sweet Caroline"



mp3.



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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Screamin' Jay Hawkins, 07/18/29. Hunter S. Thompson, 07/18/34.


So this is how the world works, all energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet.


Gimme 5 minutes of your time, please, because I must share this message with you all:

We're living heavily under the influence of both of these men born today.
(Oh hi, record collection!* And hello there, writing style of 78% of bloggers currently in the game!**)



I did a Screamin' Jay Random (although not really so random if you know me) Tribute Post
way back when. Nothing has changed since then about what I want to say about this human, so let's do this.


* Screamin' Jay Hawkins, 07/18/29.
Badder than you for many reasons, including:

● Put out an album called Black Music for White People.

● Emerged out of coffins on stage.

● Had a flaming skull named Henry as his constant companion.

● Rocked an Afro-hawk. Rocked a septum bone.

● Toured with the Clash; appeared in Mystery Train.
Black Sabbath boosted his whole stage show, in the grand tradition of poor British white kids stealing all things Black, Musical, and American.

● Fornicated a whole hell of a lot, resulting in 57 children. Or was it 75?

● When asked what it is that makes him scream he replied,

"Being black. Prejudice. Marrying a girl who said she was pregnant after I'd just spent two years in Alaska and was too foolish to know better."



Make um say Law of Rational Inference:
Jarmusch loves Screamin' Jay***. RZA loves Jarmusch. I love RZA. You love me.
Therefore, you love Screamin' Jay. Therefore, we all love Screamin' Jay.

***


"I Put a Spell On You"


mp3.






**
Hunter S., 07/18/34.



Badder than you for x amount of reasons that I don't need to list. Oh, OK, since you insist:

He said a bunch of dope things, told Nixon to fuck off, was the bawss when it came to entertaining and unpretentious prose (a difficult-to-accomplish yet so satisfying one-two punch), wanted everything legalized, described his realization that he could get away with writing how he wanted to write as opposed to writing
"like the New York Times" as "like falling down an elevator shaft and landing in a pool full of mermaids," and basically ruled at life while everybody else was sittin around watching the teevee.
Plus do I even need to mention the fisherman's hats, cigs, glasses, polos and khaki shorts??
Fucking stylish, sonnnnn.


"The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb gray hairs."



"Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex."




"A cap of good acid costs five dollars,
and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums.
"



...and then he went out like this:





"It never got weird enough for me," he said.

Nothing else this here Bachelor of English and language nerd can say will do him justice, so I'm slowly backing away and gently ending this post. And fellow bloggers, forgive my momentary preachiness but we all owe this dude a large tip of the hat. Pour a little of your 40 out for him today, won't you?











Tuesday, June 16, 2009

French people cover Junior Murvin without annoying me! Get Back Guinozzi - "Police and Thieves"







mp3.



I don't care for the Classic Song Reinterpretation.
Musicians: it makes you look like a jerk for thinking you can do the Classic Song justice.
Back slowly away & write your own stuff, please.

Junior Murvin is the god.
The Clash are gods so they get a Classic Song Reinterpretation pass, plus their version is all kinds of incredible.

And I don't mind this one, because ooooohh it's pretty and girly French pop that makes me feel like I'm Jean Seberg selling The Tribune in Paris. Except I don't have a short haircut and I'm not shaped like a 12-year-old boy.
For sure Jean-Paul Belmondo is a Dude I'd Let Boss Me Around, though.






Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Rakim speaks on memories, inspiration, intellectual property rights


See, I do this thing where I flip through my records and then I think and think about music and words and influences and other assorted topics. And eventually it shows up on here. For example, I think we all remember the Axl Obsession of April '09 here and here.


and now we have the
second Rakim-related post in a week, kids!
(I found the picture above, liked it, wanted to share)

"Before you know it, you're following and fiending..."


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Rakim. Rakim. Ra. Kimmm. Plus a lil etymology.


cadence:
c.1384, "flow of rhythm in verse or music," from M.Fr. cadence, O.It. cadenza "conclusion of a movement in music," lit. "a falling," from V.L. *cadentia, from L. cadens prp. of cadere "to fall" (see case (1)). In 16c., sometimes used literally for "an act of falling." The It. form cadenza was borrowed 1836 as a musical term for "ornamental passage near the close of a song or solo."


Turns out I still have the musical tastes of a 17-year-old dude from Queens in 1994. Sigh.

I know it shouldn't matter since we're more concerned with things like rhyme scheme, delivery, content, narrative arc, etc. in the raposphere, but the
voice of this man is like thunder from the music gods. Or maybe hail? Anyway, it's something powerful and kinda scary but in a good way. There's that monotonous tone always, emotions under the surface but he's able to harness and direct them like...wait for it...a soul controller. He always sounds like he's giving me a stern talking-to, like I got caught sneaking in the house at 4 am (with a dude who's bad for me, no doubt), and I'm kind of overwhelmed and not really listening at first, standing in the living room getting a lecture, but when I wake up the next morning the weight of his words sink in and I realize

goddammit if Rakim wasn't on point last night.



"I don't go on tour, I go to war."

Axl reminds me to relax.


THE BAWSS.


(Heard "Patience" on the radio yesterday, had forgotten how hard that song RULES--
c'mon--a whistle solo, got all wistful & inspired, miss Axl, they sure as HALE don't make 'em like that no more, please excuse this interlude, we'll now return to our regularly scheduled programming.)


PS - This music dork would be remiss if she didn't acknowledge that Izzy actually wrote the lyrics. But who cares, when Axl's the one singin and callin me "Sugar." It's true, ALL we need is patience! Axl, you're so right! Call me.)