Pouty Ghostface is comical even though OH NO! 2 OF MY BOYFRIENDS ARE FIGHTING.

“Rza got high and couldn’t find the fucking loop.”

- Ghosty, on Rizzies fucking everything up
and denying “The Sun” a place on Bulletproof Wallets
(XXL)

I AM GUESSING THAT THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME, Mr. Starks.

Wu Land is more drama-filled than Port Charles! Currently on the docket is the matter of that little inter-clansman litigation - Ghosty's people are suing RZA's people over, shockingly, some royalty discrepancies (RZA gets the standard 50% as producer, with the rest being divided up equally among the other 52 as lyricists). According to Ghostface, RZA should have received the same share of royalties as the rest of the group, not half of everything all by himself. The suit was filed in '05 and a judge recently ruled that Ghostface is owed $158,000 in back royalties. RZA disagrees and says that the ruling isn't final. And in response we have the comically bitchy comment from Ghost above. Dude. Brother fighting brother. It's like Yanks v Rebels. Oh wait, no. It's more like Kasparov v. Deep Blue. (I needed something more esoteric.) Whatever the metaphor, there is a definite lack of mutual hustle-respecting at play. OH DEAR.

Who's right in this situation? Someone please advise me. I have quit practicing music law, so I'm no longer the authority on such matters, and 73% of the blog posts I do are in tribute to RZA, so forgive me...but he seems to be overstating the quality of those early beats just a little teeny bit here. Slightly.

“If I wasn't the producer and it was just a contract thing, maybe I'd feel more compassion. But trust me, when it comes to doing these records, I'm in the studio hundreds of days where they're here for 20-30 days.

The beats are made on my own time then brought to the studio, tracked down with me and the engineer, and then you're brought in to do your 16 bars. Songs like ‘Bring Da Ruckus,’ I made two years before they even rapped on it. Songs like ‘Can It Be So Simple,’ anybody could have got on that. It had the hook, beat, and the lift from the beginning. They threw their verses on it ... They've made millions based on my beats.”

Wait. It sounds like he just said Anybody could've rapped on “Can It Be So Simple.” I feel faint and I have the taste of metal in my mouth. That's just crazytalk, Rizzers. Stop infecting me with your dementia. Fumes from the chessboard often cause neurological damage that isn't seen until years later.

_______________________

Just to assess the difficulty of such a task, I tried to divvy up the appropriate royalty percents in my head based on the merit of each gladiator. And the numbers just didn't work for me. I would like a new percentage system, please, wherein the total is nine thousand percent and each member (or his family, if he is ol and dirty and no longer with us) gets a thousand percent of royalty proceeds, a medal for Outstanding Contribution to the Arts, a Prius, and a basic-cable channel with an hourlong talk show each for Ghost, Meth, and RZA (Rae and GZA get 2 hours because I'm sorry but those dudes are just more interesting than the others). Plus they all rotate holding the position of Staten Isle borough president. And a doll made in their likeness (especially a GZA one, which I still need bad).


Although the mighty WU is nothing, nothing, without its bitchy squabbles, the fact remains that they are fighting and I do not care for it. Fishscale had no RZA productions and we all remember how I cuddled with that one for like a month straight, so it's not like I'm worried that this will result in lack of musical collaboration. But I have a problem with conflict, just ask my social work professors who tried to beat it out of me. Let's get this cleared up in time so we don't have an awkward Thanksgiving dinner in apt. 302. I want the fighting to end. This is madness. MADNESS, I tell you.

Prince Buster - “Madness”

mp3.

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