Dudes I do not know but hate nonetheless.

1. THIS guy.

That's his collection. Of cassette tapes. Of Wu and Cypress and Joy Division and old KDAY shows. That he's GIVING AWAY. Because he just had a lobotomy and/or hates himself.

2. And THIS guy.

on Hannity's latest white-man roundtable discussion, via Deadspin:

"This is what scares me about President Obama...he's creating a foundation from which he must lead from, and that foundation does not have the same character traits that have made this nation great...(including) standing up for what is right."


Jay Feely, I must pull you aside and inform you that you're off my Fantasy team. Oh wait, you were never on it, but still. You are currently on Republican/D-Bag Reserve and I don't see you being healthy/non-Republican enough to play for my squad in the near or distant future.

Per his Twitter bio, he's "Kicker for the New York Jets, 9 yrs in NFL, Husband, Father of 4, golfing fanatic, fishermen, Christian, with political aspirations."
(He left out "SuperHater of Current Black Presidents.")

OK, let's break it down. Dear Jay,

1) Fishermen is plural, dun. You are but one man.
2) Sporadic capitalization is not cute, dun.
3) "Political aspirations." Yes, definitely--but you should wait to pursue this until you're done performing your current job of using your foot to forcefully project a ball between goalposts on Sunday afternoons at the Meadowlands.

(Also, his location according to Twitter is "Florida/New York/Michigan"; a valiant effort, Jay, but far inferior to my own holy trinity of whereabouts--Marcy Projects/the trap/K-Town. You should probably sit this one out, buddy.)