Suckers - "Easy Chairs" + The Decemberists - "The Rake's Song": Where are my keys?

We all know that nothing, nothing, will never ever ever EVERRR replace "And if a double-decker busssss...crrrrraaaashes into usssss/To die by your siiiiide/is such a heavenly way to diiiiiie" as the ultimate bro chorus when you're with your bros, bro-ing down at the Short Stop (circa '07; too many Ash Roth types there now).

However, "Riiiight onnnn/whooooaaaaoooohh"*
and
"all right/all right/allll riiiiiight"**
are pretty easy to remember and sing along with after 8 Tecates. (1 and a half Tecates in my case). Oh, and yeah I am a girl but I can take part in a bro chorus, duh.

Listen to these songs, in entirety, preferably in headphones cuz you know that's how I do things. They're like auditory whiskey at the bar--I can see you now, holding your plastic cup, wondering where your keys are (in your pocket, sweetheart), and being all like "You think you're better than me?!" to that dude who glanced at you on his way to the bathroom. Your belligerence is charming, tiger. Enjoy.


*





Additionally, The Decemberists are fucking annoying and I love them
(but pretty much only this song at this very moment in time).
They have these super trite lyrics in what's supposed to be a concept album but it's all just so tired and lame.
I'm sorry, but does this picture not fill you with rage?

The suits, the umbrella with hang-y stuff, and most of all that bowler hat. WHAT THE HALE is your problem, PORTLAND. Cease & desist immediately.
In conclusion, this song and its melodies make life worth living. Enjoy.

**



Postscript--Los Esmiths
Once upon a time (Oct. '08) this here web log writer was taken to a little Mexican dive bar up the street from The Echo after Wonderfull. The place was full of dudes with mustaches and cowboy hats and boots, with a smattering of wacky intoxicated kids like us thrown in. THIS CAME ON THE JUKEBOX you guys, and I freaked the fuck out slightly, and THEN, when the chorus hit, we all sang along even though we were singing in 2 different languages, and I swear to god it was heaven--beer, free tacos, and me in a tight white tank top, and all of us crazy humans singing our hearts out in the middle of the night in a sea of drunken Smiths-ness. Precious, beautiful Los Angeles, you're crazy and I love you.