Eskay tries to annoy me to an inappropriate degree, succeeds

OH LOOK, they had so much fun during the first "Dudes Who Will Not Be Seeing Logan Naked" Convention that they decided to do it bigger & deffer the second time around:

The mind reels at the stuntery and unabashed wackness depicted above; I'm not sure where to begin. Let me just say NICE JERSEY, Morrisville.
#33. Bird. Of course. Of course.
Mother fuck gentrification.

OH ASHHH, even your jersey selection game is the opposite of tight! Take me to new heights of wackery and don't you dare stop! Pack it up/pack it in, cuz the only acceptable options in NBA Caucasoid Jersey family are McHale, Laimbeer, West and Maravich (the BAWSS).

I go to NahRight twice/thrice daily and I am gradually learning that you ain't hip-hop in oh-nine unless you know the latest in Joe and Tahiry's 10th-grade-style love affair and Ash Roth's kleptomaniacal tendencies and fondness for slippers. Word life. Thanks, Eskay*!


* Stop it, Eskay

And also--
This one isn't really his fault cuz he's just the messenger, but I must deduct points from Eskay's overall score for injuring my hip-hop nerd soul by posting the news that there is now an "Uptown Anthem Pt. II." Aw damn, see, and I was having a perfectly nice Friday until now.

There's already 1 Naughty anthem in my world, it comes from a magical, happy land called Hip-Hop From 1992, and it sustains me and makes me whole. Please leave it be.

We gonna break, we gonna bash, we gonna roll, we gonna smash.

Ummmm except that you are not breaking, bashing, rolling, or smashing when you try to revisit perfection and prevent the past from living in a dignified manner by putting your hands in it again and dirtying it all up. Classic perfect '90s hip-hop song do-overs will slowly kill me if you people do not stop it. This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

The gravity of the situation compels me to bring this up with Treach at the show.
"When you pull stunts like this," I'll tell him in a sassy tone, "I might have to alert Radames to the situation and you will be sufficiently dealt with for bringing shame upon the crew."

No matter where you go, there you are.