Sunday, July 5, 2009

Fatal Flying Guillotine chops off your fuckin head

BONG fucking BONG, fellow children of the Wu.

The grand exquisite imperial wizard, oh is it? The Rzarector come to pay your ass a visit. It's the date of birth of Robert Diggs, Bobby Digital, Bobby Steels, Prince Rakeem. 07/05/69. We don't do it enough, so c'mon y'all, let us sit back and appreciate the universe giving us the talents of the man whose voice is the first Wu member's you hear on 36 Chambers. Bringthemuthafuckinruckus. This dude has had you by the ears from '93 on, and basically made your whole decade sound like swords getting unsheathed, gritty, dirty drums, and dudes jumping around in the booth. TIGAH STYLE.

Thanks to him, I currently reside in a magical musical land somewhere between Bhutto getting elected and Super Bowl XXVIII. Go on without me; all hope of me moving beyond 1993, '94, '95, is totally lost.
Also, I hear the dude produced an album called Tical and one called Liquid Swords and then there was Only Built 4 Cuban Linx oh and that one called Ironman too. This seems impossible for any one human to have accomplished, I mean, come ON, no fucking way anyone is that amazing, so I'll have my fact-checkers do some fact-checking and I'll get back to you.

He stops producers careers, the weak spot was their ears/Scorpion darts hits their mark, pierce their heart with silver spears. RZA's all comic books, rooks & pawns & bishops, kung fu movies: just a skinny, brilliant weirdo. Nerds always win; they always do.
A-boom, ching, jigga-jong.

"You can see the weakness of a man right through his iris."

Rak + Rak.

"OH RZA, thank you for all your knob-twisting and dialogue-chopping talents that have laced my headphones and made my life better!"
In the future, the part of Caucasoid Girl in Bathrobe will be played by Logan.
(the part of RZA will still be played by RZA)

In the category of YouTube Amazing Strange Epicness, we have the following video of baby Wu members discussing Steve Rifkind, distribution deals, and the plot to take over Germany. And it is, how do you say, fantastic.
Press play, you're welcome, I'm more Wu than you, etc.
"Who is the leader?"
"I'm the leader; my name is Ra-KEEM."

(Note: Ghost is like 8 feet tall in real life, I've seen him, so Jesus, RZA must be 8 and a half feet tall. As an extra prize, you get to see a very young, very jubilant Meth sitting in a booth. Aww.)

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