Friday, July 31, 2009

Thing That Wrecks Shop Just Because It Is Obama-Affiliated, #18,744

I won’t fuck us over; I’m Mr. November. - The National.

I own America. - Slick Rick.

President Dreamboat announced on July 30 the 16 recipients of the 2009 Presidential Medal of Freedom,"America’s highest civilian honor" (next to 5 mics in The Source, that is).

There's a science nerd on the list (Hawking),
an anti-apartheid archbishop (Tutu),
Mr. Tibbs (Poitier),
and, posthumously, Harvey "Political Badass" Milk!

(long overdue, Barry O., but nicely done nonetheless. I approve of these choices.)

In praising the recipients, the Prez had a mouthful of distinguished, President-y things to say like,

These outstanding men and women represent an incredible diversity of backgrounds. Their tremendous accomplishments span fields from science to sports, from fine arts to foreign affairs. Yet they share one overarching trait: Each has been an agent of change. Each saw an imperfect world and set about improving it, often overcoming great obstacles along the way.

The moral of this post is this: Dear Barry, I want you to want me. I need you to need me. Also, I'll shine up my old brown shoes, put on a brand new shirt, AND get home early from work/If you say...that you love me.

Additionally, even though that coke-y nepotism beneficiary from Texas (the W is for "weasel") gave the very same honor to other people that play for our team (the good guys) a few years ago--Nelson Mandela, Hank Aaron, Wilma Mankiller, Roberto Clemente--go ahead and ask me if I give even a little bit of a fuck, whydon'tyou (sorry to ruin the surprise: I don't). The bonkers phony cowboy (dude basically grew up in Massachusetts) doesn't get a pass from me just because he gave shiny round medal thingies to individuals I hold in high regard.
My lawsuit against him for such crimes as making the entire world hate us, attempting to hijack my ladyparts because Jesus told him to, and murdering the English language, is still pending.

Pharcyde - "If I Were President"



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