Thursday, July 16, 2009

4 things that amuse and delight me (and 1 thing that does not), 07/16/09.

1. Snoop's next album is called Malice in Wonderland. Just ponder the epic heights of pun-ness of that for a moment. OK, you're excused.

THIS I cannot stop watching. It puts me in a trance-like state, like those kids in Japan who watched that cartoon, or like that time on The Simpsons when Homer licked the frog.

Is this that "jerkin" thing I hear all the kids talkin about? The Halle Berry? Somebody please help a lady out.

SUMMERTIME in apt. 302!

3. According to your Twitter, How hetero are you?
(They analyze your Twitter stream and then tell you whether you like to sleep with boys or girls)

It appears that my various lesbatronic moments have resulted in me being only three-quarters straight.

Football, beef, and swooning are often things I concern myself with.

4. People I Want To Get Smacked in the Mouth include Drake, Terry Richardson (he'd love it), and Akon. I will not be providing an explanation for this because, you see, an explanation is not necessary.

However, despite not caring for Akon or any of his people he's trying to push on us (French Montana), I do very much care for a Chipmunk'ed-the-fuck-out Don Henley. Music snobbery has no place in my world or on my web log; this song has little-to-no redeeming social value, and I'll hate it in about 48 hours, and it's the hotness in the suburbs, booming from your 14 year old little cousin's iPod, but forget all that for now 'cause it's a 'Kiss summer.

French Montana (what is the opposite of charisma? Whatever that's called, that's what French has) feat. Jadakiss, "New York Minute"

He was short and nice and called me "Bunny," circa summer '00 on E. 7th.
"It's 'cause you're from Cali," he said.


Gavin McInnes makes me moan with displeasure by saying this:

"(Dash) said, 'Why are you always reporting on shit and reviewing other people's shit? Why don't you do your own shit?' I couldn't get it out of my head. I still can't. And you shouldn't either."


You needed Dash to tell you not to be an original-content-lacking biter and swagger jacker?
Did you really? Really?

And you shouldn't either is my favorite part, as it contains the holy trinity of d-bag-ery, stupidity, and pretentiousness in one short statement; so clutch, Gav. I understand that you miss him but please leave the life coach helpful statements out of quotation marks. Bye.

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