Saturday, August 8, 2009

No Fucking Way: bangers & mash, trainers, pence, shillings, & Boxing Day edition


I got tickets, let's roll to the Knicks game
You Teena Marie, and baby, I'm Rick James
Excuse me, where you going, mama?
I want a change, I voted for Obama.




The average man will spend almost 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women.

(The Telegraph UK)


"Gasp! That's terrible," I announced, adding, "Do you like my new bathing suit?"
Then I smiled demurely and went back to putting cocoa butter on while reading Backlash and making sure you don't stare at my ass. See, 'cause I'm extra complex.


43 minutes a day of staring =
259 hours = almost 11 days each year, resulting in a total of 11 months and 11 days that men spend taking it alllll in during their lives. Whaddup ladies. How you doin.
When asked where they were staring, exactly (hi, creepy poll-takers), 40% of men said their eyes were immediately drawn to a woman's figure.
(
"Girls have faces?" asked Luther Campbell)

Mark Ireland, spokesman for Kodak Lens Vision Centres (that's a LensCrafters with a Union Jack flying out front, you guys), which carried out the poll, said: 'Men are renowned for looking at women but it's interesting to find out exactly how long they spend eyeing girls up.

'A year of their life is a long time to spend with their eyes fixed on the opposite sex.'

The supermarket is the most popular location for staring, followed by a pub, a nightclub, work, and shops.

This was a poll of 3,000 British dudes, let's keep in mind--and oh how those wacky lads like to ogle and verbally pounce and say cheeky things. However, this still gets the "No Fucking Way" treatment even in the U.S., since I hear that boys in this country also like to look at girls they have deemed pretty. Please note, however, if you live in a city called Los Angeles there has been a secret mass memo instructing adult male humans to willfully ignore that skinny girl in the dress shopping at Trader Joe's even though she is very nice.
(53-year-old white dudes at Amoeba, however, apparently have a mandate to stroll up and attack her with some middle-aged-white-man verbal gamesmanship every time they see her in the aisles)


I would also like it noted that I have pre-approved the following British dudes to stare at me to all the livelong day and take camera phone pics if they want:

Donald Dumile,
Slick Rick,
Elvis Costello,
Eric Burdon in 1964,
and H.R.

Keep it movin, Phil Collins and
Rod Stewart.






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