Sunday, August 23, 2009

Me & Mike Watts & the Gatlin Brothers. You already know.

I'm supposed to be from the Gulf Coast

and not just 'cause of my Bun B and Devin and Scarface obsessions.

Every time I see a Houston-related Nah Right post or 2DopeIndividualz post or RapRadar post or IllRoots post or Unkut Cocaine Blunts in the SmokingSection post, which is pretty often since there are many rapping men down Texas way (I mean, it is a very large state), I go through this thought process because I have a mean case of Music Dork: I think about this Yao Ming commercial, which I remember from when it was new and on TV (the never-wrong YouTube tells me it's from way back in '05, can that be?),

and then I think about how as soon as I saw it, I had to know who sang the song on the radio in the cab because I don't know if you remember but in '05 everybody loved chopped and/or screwed things from Houston. So I heard that Houuuuuu-stonnnnnn chorus and I thought about how FRESH it would be for some Texan producer/mixtape wizard to dip it in codeine and then have one of his boys say some verses over it. My mom informed me it was the Gatlin Brothers (she's clutch), only I never sent that email to any Texan music bawsses. I got distracted. Grad school. But still: Houuuuuu-stonnnnnn/Houston means that I'm one day closer to youuuu. It would be, like we said in '05, so TIGHT for that to be a chorus on somebody's song. Lil' Flip? Big Pokey? In conclusion: Dear Michael Watts, I've been saving this idea for you for like 4 years now. You need this bopper (that's me) on your squad. Um, chunk the deuce?

Also, I'm a tiny bit depressed that you blatantly offer "Mixtape hosting for $50" on your MySpace page. Also, then I remembered that nobody outside your state listens to Screw-ish type things anymore. We don't even say "tight" anymore; everything became icey. Now things are tough and they go hard. We still love Devin and UGK and Scarface, though.

. . .


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