No joy in Mudville.

Dominican Summer League - Members of the Mets' team push their bus out of a muddy field after their game. If you don't love this pic you must be some sort of communist.

Even a girly girl knows that béisbol is super popular in the Dominican Republic, a giant explosion of You Can Make It Out of Here possibilities for young men that has led to epic figures like Manny Ramirez getting signed and then giving it to me all over SportsCenter and on billboards in my city. Love you, Maniaco. Besos.

Get this, though - prospective pro baseball players over there, hoping to make it big in the US, play fast and loose with the rules! (like me!). Major League Baseball is investigating (air quotes) illegal activities in the DR (steroids, birth certificate fraud, kickbacks), says the LA Times, because we're supposed to believe Major League Baseball is really investigating (air quotes!) illegal activities over there in an effort to stop illegal activities that produce Mannys and Big Papis. The DR is a freaking baseball star factory filled with young men in poverty with so much talent and so much desire to take care of their families that American scouts and franchises can do all the poaching they want because basically for these teenage boys, it's either a) learn how to attack a mean curve ball with your bat or b) cut sugar cane the rest of your life. I'm no dummy, Bud Selig. Try it somewhere else, jerk.

As always, my favorite part of a story is the pictures...like the one above (posted so you'd stop complaining about your cushy American problems, crybaby), and this one:

Dude. Let's go to the DR and sit in the stands and watch baseball!
And I don't even like baseball!

The Howlies - “Aluminum Baseball Bat,” novelty-ish and good for about 3 listens, max.
(Because De La's “Fanatic of the B Word” wasn't available and because I need to stop posting Large Pro productions for every baseball mention on here. I'm trying to discipline myself. PS, that Main Source song's not even about baseball! Sigh. You're so naive sometimes.)

mp3.


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