1. Halloween at the White House: Swoon/delicious/yes please/I love you, President Dreamboat/participating in Halloween is corny unless you're the leader of the planet/sometimes I am cranky but really all I need is to be greeted by an image like this on the Yahoo! home page on Sunday morning and everything in life is better, all better:
There's that Ed Norton documentary on HBO that I need to see*; I hear it's all sugar and gloss and bathes the Prez in heartwarming golden light and fairy-tale charm, but that's because dude, we totally fucking have a President who's not a rich old white man and that right there used to only happen in fairy tales so, hey, let's celebrate with a fluffy pro-Hope, pro-Change documentary.
Sometimes I get emails from people asking me to be more critical of Prez Dreamboat. Aw damn, see, I find that doing so would be an inappropriate use of my wit, intelligence, and comedy skills, so these critical posts of the President will probably not be happening. Haters to the left, now and forever.
I'm almost fainting re: Barry O., backstage lookin like James Brown about to take the Apollo stage in '73 - but it's not because of any similarities in ethnic background between the 2 of them, mind you. It's because James was a god on the mic beloved by his followers, and the Prez is a god on the mic and beloved by his followers and because he also stays on the scene/like a sex machine. (in my head)
Also, every time I see Ed Norton I remember that Ed Norton used to do naked things with Salma Hayek. I believe they were lovers for several years. You guys, you've seen Ed Norton, right? This provides conclusive evidence that ladies blessed in the womanly-body department love smart leftist dudes, no matter what the dudes look like. On a related note, I've recently discovered that the leftist, brilliant, but rather unfortunate-looking Bill Maher has a comely ladyfriend. I am hereby officially announcing my official ladycrush on Bill Maher's official ladyfriend.
3. Michelle Obama is a fucking G, I mean a real bona fide power hitter. She'll take your seat at the Yankee game, Rudy Giuliani!, and then turn and smile at you with grace and decency, and you love her cashmere twinset so much, you just sigh and realize you really wanted to sit in the upper deck behind left field. The seats just to the right of the Yankees' dugout are overrated. OH MICHELLE, you're always right.
"I'm the New York power hitter." - Juju.
No you're not, Juju. Michelle is. Thanks for providing me with a half-assed excuse to post this song and relive '01, though. 8 years later, the average cat still don't even know his fate. Crazy.