Wednesday, December 9, 2009

White horses n' magic dragons.

The human body burns calories for energy,
Human civilizations and trade routes spring up around bodies of water,
Derek Jeter is not foxy,
Judd Apatow's male characters are the opposite of what a dude should be,
manufactured beef sells records,
ambiguously ethnic-looking whitegirls in fur hats have it on lock,
the sun came up today, and

there are veiled references to drugs in popular speech and music.

My insatiable craving for coke n' Ls is often played out in music on pop radio, and so far the adults in my life have been wonderfully unaware of this fact. There's the world of family, and then there's the world of narcotics in song, and never the twain shall meet. My mom and Radric Davis both use Pyrex, for example, and they both incorporate the weight and measure of things in the process of cooking, but it ends there. She doesn't know her way around a Zshare link and she certainly does not Make the Trap Say anything. She is familiar with sociopolitical conditions in Atlanta but it's only 'cause Nas lives there now. (She loves Nas.)

So now The Awl is deep in the dope game. It wants us all to know how down it is with the kids' lingo and so it's explaining to everybody what Jay-Z really meant when he mentioned LeBron and Dwyane "Spellcheck" Wade in the Greatest Song Ever in the History of November 2009, "Empire State of Mind." I like a world in which Aunt Jean doesn't know what kind of stuff I'm singing along with on the radio. I like her believing that a brick really is a brick, that the purpose of rubber bands is keep a lady's hair back from her face, and that it absolutely does get cold enough to snow in Virginia (um, in August). You guys, the grownups totally know what we're talking about now! NEW SLANG, STAT.

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