Sunday, May 2, 2010

Lady stuff, 05/02/10.

- Today in DAMN GIRL YOU KNOW YOU FINE news, lovely bird Gemma Arterton exists, has freckles, is perfect in every way. I am, in fact, trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespect-fuu-llllll, but I'm finding it difficult. If I weren't so classy and ladylike I would probably use this opportunity to try out a "People With Whom I Would Enjoy Showering" tag.
Sorry, Mom.

Bobby Brown - "Roni." Nobody makes songs about vulnerable/tough homeboys anymore. If you made sweet unadulterated love at least once between the years 1988 and 1991, you did it to something Babyface produced. Then Kells took over in '92.


- The gold standard for ass is probably the one that's shelf-like and firm enough to rest your cup on that E-40 saw in the wild once and then wrote a verse about (that's not it, above). Mine (above) is a close second, and coming in third is the one from '99 that was so fat you could see it from the front.

Ass, the New York Times says, is the new breasts in that a lot of ladies are trying to fake it with surgery and padded things that lift and add thickness and curvature. Aw. Mutilation and trompe l'oeil effects aren't sexy. Leave ass alone, that's what I say.

- Gothamist reports that residents of the Sister Thomas Apartments, a low-income building in the South Bronx, "are so disgusted by the combined odors from a sewage plant and trash transfer station that they're considering a plan to pump perfume into their building." HA HA, Juice Crew! Murdered yet again by the superior borough!

"The idea is the brainchild of environmental justice advocate and MacArthur 'genius' Award winner Majora Carter, who enlisted the help of (a) Parisian perfumer to create a new fragrance for the Bronx Building. It's called L'Eau Verte du Bronx du Sud, which means 'Green Water of the South Bronx.'

The building's management company wants to release the perfume into the building through a rooftop air unit, and Carter tells the Daily News she hopes the fragrance will remind residents of 'the connection between everyday life and nature.' Tenants still need to approve the plan, but building manager Sal Gigante is certain they'll greenlight the perfume, which he insists is far superior to the current odor of 'decaying rat carcass.'" Teehee.

As odd as it looked, as wild as it seemed, I didn't hear a peep from a place called Queens even though it seems like at this point in his career Nas should have his own fragrance. This story is being included in a post called "Lady stuff" because it's about perfume, and because real ladies love BDP*. My posse from the Bronx is THICK. (that was used in a Camp Lo song, I think. I need it.)

*The above photo had to be named BDP 13, which is indicative of how much hard drive space I have dedicated to images of this troupe.

- Utah and its assemblage of bad facial hair fell to the mighty in game 1, obviously. This is part of "lady stuff" because gentlemen, we judge you by your facial hair and we point and laugh when it's that conspicuously manicured, even if you're Lloyd Banks and make delicious popular rap that makes a girl feel good about being alive while driving through the city despite the fact that she's behind the wheel of a late-'90s Civic.

Natural and free and unfettered and lightly tended to is what we love, like the 7-foot tall Spaniard's. I hope to see changes in the next game so the series is at least a little interesting.



The Twillness said...

The perfume pumping idea seems like it's bound to fail, but it's so genius I have no choice but to root for it. Creative solutions for the fucking win.

Also you have a nice ass.


danps said...

Good to see the old HFS header pic make a reappearance. You should put it back - it tells a better story about this here blog.

In the series of Arterton photos you listed, I would title the right hand one on the third row "Melons."

Your song for the week, and one of the best of the year.

LeBron's elbow is hurt more than he is letting on and the rest of the team is half-assing it. Despair approaches.

druff said...

Thanks for the self-pic. It really makes this post "pop." And the other stuff was good too I'm sure.