I don't care for the Classic Song Reinterpretation. Musicians: it makes you look like a jerk for thinking you can do the Classic Song justice. Back slowly away & write your own stuff, please.
Junior Murvin is the god. The Clash are gods so they get a Classic Song Reinterpretation pass, plus their version is all kinds of incredible.
And I don't mind this one, because ooooohh it's pretty and girly French pop that makes me feel like I'm Jean Seberg selling The Tribune in Paris. Except I don't have a short haircut and I'm not shaped like a 12-year-old boy. For sure Jean-Paul Belmondo is a Dude I'd Let Boss Me Around, though.
Throw down some moneyyyy; the ice cream man is cominnnnnnn.
Delirious is 25, and it's still too soon before I'm ready to see that much of Eddie Murphy's chest again. PS, he got the red leather outfit at the mall the day he shot the special in DC! OH EDWARD.
Today we have a Very Special Episode of No Fucking Way, in which we learn that coke is not so terrible for you as long as you're not an idiot about it. Alcohol and nicotine are worse for you, which is bad news for basically every dude I've had a crush on since I was 13 (including Bukowski).
Not that I needed more reasons to love the fantastic decade known as the 1990s, but here's another reason I love the fantastic decade known as the 1990s: in '92 and '93, the World Health Organization conducted what is probably the largest ever study of global cocaine use. They then tried to release a report which summarized their conclusions; this was basically a description, in fancy science researcher language, of how inhumane and outdated and stupid the US's "war on drugs" policy was, with its focus on supply reduction and law enforcement. They also endorsed something called decriminalization, which would result in a huge reduction of persons with dark skin being arrested and then kept in cage-like quarters for many years. (Law enforcement did not care for this; it liked the current system and saw no need for a change at that time.)
I live in a country of haters who don't like their lawmaking skills made fun of, so you're not paying attention if you thought that this glorious report was ever going to get published in this land. The report criticized anti-drug ad campaigns which tried to scare people into not using, and it had this one entertaining part about how casual short- and long-term coke use doesn't really cause any problems. Oh, aaand how “use of coca leaves appears to have no negative health effects and has positive, therapeutic, sacred and social functions for indigenous Andean populations.”
"At the point where mild cocaine use was described in positive tones, the Americans presumably blew some kind of outrage fuse. This report was never published, because just two months after the press briefing was released, at the 48th World Health Assembly, the US representative to WHO threatened to withdraw US funding for all their research projects and interventions unless the organisation “dissociated itself from the conclusions of the study” and cancelled the publication. According to WHO, even today, this document does not exist, (although you can read a leaked copy in full on the website of the drugs policy think tank Transform at www.tdpf.org.uk/WHOleaked.pdf)."
When reached for comment,Scott Storchasked me if I wanted to go have some fun in the bathroom stall, then called me a bitch when I turned him down.
I tried to find a slightly dope/obscure picture to post of you, O'Shea; however, in every one I saw you were either do-ragged/Jheri curled and holding a firearm, or you were calm and fatherly and holding a child in one of your recent family-man lighthearted/terrible/unfunny films. I'll take something in the middle next time, please, thanks.
Incorrect hand gesture, Cube! We were looking for 4 fingers up, 2 twisted in the middle.
PS, what have you done with Sir Jinx? I need some more of hisproduction fineryin my headphones. It's been too long since '92.
Debacle: noun, "disaster," 1848, fig. use of French débâcle"breaking up of ice on a river," extended to the violent flood that follows when the river ice melts in spring, from débâcler "to free," from M.Fr. desbacler "to unbar," from des- "off" + bacler "to bar," from V.L. *bacculare, from L. baculum "stick." Sense of "disaster" was present in Fr. before Eng. borrowed the word.
Turn up some of that Dead Prez and a little bit of The Coup for this one -
it's Che Guevara's birthday!
“Let me say, at the risk of seeming ridiculous, that the true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love.”
"I'm like Che Guevara with bling on--I'm complex."
("And I look extra uncomfortable posing like this.")
Wearing the image of a revolutionary on your person became so lame so long ago (sorry if that stings, Jay), but if you were a Caucasoid person somewhere between age 12 and 19 between the years 1992 and, ohh, 2000, and if you weren't a complete idiot,
1) you were a Rage fan, and 2) you were legally required to own a t-shirt with Che's likeness on it.You know, that photo.
Alberto Kordatook the picture on March 5, 1960. Che was 31.
The photo--Guerrillero Heroico--was taken during a Castro speech after the memorial service for victims of "La Coubre," when a Belgian transport exploded in Havana harbor and killed 136 people. The CIA of the United States of America, the country where I live, was apparently behind the attack(nofuckingway!) and backed the counterrevolutionary groups that caused the explosion. Castro gave his speech at what had become a mass funeral and demonstration. Che Guevara just happened upon the stage where Castro was talking and stayed for a few seconds, looking out over the large crowd.Korda quickly snapped two photos with his Leica, and Che disappeared off stage again. After the memorial service, the photo of Che was not seen as particularly noteworthy; it remained just part of Korda’s personal collection for years, and he kept a print hanging on his small studio's wall.
People often ask Korda how he was able to take that photograph. “This photograph is not the product of knowledge or technique," he said, "It was really coincidence, pure luck.”He described what has now become the famous gaze of Che as encabronado y dolente (angry and sad).
Korda's real last name was Diaz Gutierrez, but he changed it to that of British filmmaker Alexander Korda because he thought it sounded like "Kodak."
There's more, too much to post here, about how Korda didn't really make any profit off the image (even though, goddamn, it's probably the world's most published photo), and how he sued Smirnoff for using it in 2000 and donated the money from the lawsuit settlement to a children's health fund in Cuba; "If Che were still alive," Korda said, "he would have done the same."
"As a supporter of the ideals for which Che Guevara died," he said, in explaining his reasons for the lawsuit, "I am not averse to (the photo's) reproduction by those who wish to propagate his memory and the cause of social justice throughout the world, but I am categorically against the exploitation of Che's image for the promotion of products such as alcohol, or for any purpose that denigrates the reputation of Che."
"(Female water striders) have evolved a morphological shield to protect their genitalia from males' forceful copulatory attempts (yesss, "copulatory" is now the adjective of the day), ...(and) only expose their genitalia for copulation after males produce a courtship "song" by tapping the water surface.
Natural selection favors higher mating frequency in males than in females in many animals, including humans. This leads to an evolutionary "arms race" where males evolve adaptations that force females to mate, while females evolve defenses against males' attempts.("Ay ma...")
Females water striders...have evolved a morphological shield behind which their genitalia are hidden from males, protecting them against the males' forceful attempts to mate. In an apparent response to the female adaptation...males produce courtship signals by tapping the water. It is only after receiving the male's "song" that females expose their genitalia for copulation."
Adaptation of mating trickery in order to circumvent the ladies' morphological shields. Jesus, evolution takes SO long. It's quicker just to put onThe K&D Sessions.
1. Rae shills for a fancy car dealership on the awful, hideous westside of Los Angeles, umm because whyyyy? He needs more money? OH RAE.
Can't knock the hustle. Most of the time.
"Absolutely no credit check." Fancy car place, you just made me EL OH ELL and cringe at the same time! Why don't you just come out and say it?? Nice stereotype reinforcement game, Carlyle Motor Club. I do not support your mission and therefore I will now be retracting my offer for one of your Lambos in stock. Nice one.
Because, yes, it's been done, but no, it hasn't been done in which the contenders are a nerdy bikini-clad lady blogger and an artsy fedora-wearing male blogger:
The "Brooklyn vs. Queens Hiphop Superiority Challenge." (No Biggie or Nas or Jay allowed.)
And in this corner, Me, who took Queens because nobody would pick it given a choice between the 2 boroughs and because picking the underdog has yet to fail me:
"Mobb Deep, Run-DMC, LL, Monch, Akinyele, Capone & Nore, Beatnuts, Onyx & Serch (partial credit? combined they form 1 good MC), Marley Marl, Q-Tip, Large Pro, KOOL G RAP.Oh and The Ramones and Christopher Walken.BYE."
I won't let the victory go to my head, promise.
*Also acceptable for the post title: "Linden Boulevard, represent, repre-zent-zent" and "Friday night and Jamaica Queens funkin" and "If I die I couldn't choose a better location."
See, I keep telling you guys to holler at the nerd in class cuz it will pay off in so many ways, but it's like you need scientific proof to really heed my words. Here we go.
"Intelligence, not beauty, is the deciding factor when it comes to enjoying sex, which will come as a great relief to clever-but-oh-so-plain girls everywhere.(hollerrrr)
A study has revealed that women endowed with emotional intelligence have superior sex lives because of their skill at expressing themselves and empathising* with their partner.... Bright women apparently have twice as many orgasms as their peers, (and) high levels of emotional intelligence also makes it easier for women to fantasise during foreplay.
Novelist Isabel Allende once famously declared that the G-spot is located in a woman's ears; words are the greatest aphrodisiac. Perhaps the reason why emotionally intelligent women have more fun is because they intuitively choose the best (or at least, most biddable) partners, who are imaginative (and) appreciative."
That N.A.S.A. "A Volta" business gets a final score of ZERO from the judges. Pack it in. Good game. Valiant effort. Maybe next year. Etc.
Here we have yet another posse cut that sounds good on paper but is just so dull* and I don't care who knows it.Oh N.A.S.A., I want to love you but you just keep pushing me away! I do like the fact that Logan directed the video, however.
Listen to this instead, gang! Anti-Pop Consortium, "Capricorn One." More of this, please. Album in October. Big Dada and Ninja Tune, thanks for constantly ruling at music.
SR: What are the main issues that you wanted to approach with this album?
MD: Life, love, just observations. It's not a super-defined narrative, it's just raw... from a sincere place. Also, I feel like being into the beat of your own drum has become too prominent in the culture...
I have plans to stick around, even when I'm not around anymore (laughing). Even when I die I won't stay dead. The vibration is the key thing. If I'm not the hottest, then let me be vital. If you're necessary you'll always be in people's pockets.
&
MD:That's Brooklyn—the community caravan. We're just having a good time, man. Spread joy, spread love. We know how to operate with the lights out, actually. They turn them on, that's cool. We know how to get around quite well in the dark.
...
Pretty Flaco's Rainbow Coalition jam ("blanco, negro, latino/del mundo, cuando junto, que profundo!") cuz it's 2001 again, didn't you get the memo?
(I think it was '01, anyway. Maybe '00.)
Yall n---as wack in 1 language/son I'm nice in 2! You don't know my sound? we always win/we never lose...
There was some nerd/tomboy excitement in #302 last night when I saw this on espn.com.I have sort of always beenin love with The Lakeshowww and I can read about its history all the livelong day and find it fascinating because I'm a tomboy nerd cleverly disguised as a girl in a bikini.
"Abdul-Jabbar's skyhook is one of the all-time signature moves, like George Gervin's finger roll or Hakeem Olajuwon's Dream Shake. The modern game has nothing close, not in status or effectiveness."
"Milwaukee Bucks announcer Eddie Doucette gave the shot its heavenly name during Abdul-Jabbar's early pro years with the Milwaukee Bucks, and it stuck as he moved on to Los Angeles and kept relying on the hook shot as the primary weapon for his assault on Wilt Chamberlain's all-time NBA scoring record. Whenever the Showtime Lakers couldn't get out on the fast break, Magic Johnson would simply hold up a fist, indicating it was time to get the ball to Kareem. In retrospect, it really wasn't fair to go from one of the best fast breaks ever unleashed on the NBA to a Plan B that consisted of the single most effective shot in the history of the sport. It was like following up Larry Holmes' jab with Mike Tyson's uppercut."
Stop hating, you guys. It's unattractive.
"Double-teaming him wasn't an appealing option during his seasons with the Lakers, because he might have had three other All-Stars on the court with him at any given time. Among the options he had to pass to over the years were Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Norm Nixon and Jamaal Wilkes.
'That kinda gave people the choice of "How do you wanna commit suicide?"' Abdul-Jabbar said. 'You want me to get the shot off, or do you want one of those guys to?'"
'87!:
Additional reasons for you to feel jealous that my team's history, not yours, is replete with stand-up dudes:
June 4, 1967: Top athletes (Bill Russell! Jim Brown! The sports nerd in me just died) converge to support Ali as he explains his reasons for rejecting the draft. Kareem (bottom right) was still Lew Alcindor (name change in '71).
"In satisfaction surveys, store customers and medical patients say they prefer white men, and managers frequently hire and set pay based on customer preferences.
In (a) study, researchers at four business schools showed study subjects a video featuring either a black male, a white female, or a white male actor playing the role of an employee helping a customer. Those viewing the white male were 19 percent more satisfied with the employee's performance, and they were also more satisfied with the store's cleanliness and appearance.... (The) actors demonstrated the same scripted behaviors, and the store background, camera angles and lighting were identical.
'Customers, from students buying textbooks to patients in an examining room, are consistently biased in favor of white men,' and '(because) customer satisfaction is critical for organizational survival, business owners and managers will hire white men when possible and will pay lower salaries to the women and minorities they do hire.'"
See, for me, the question of whether a black man or a white man is more helpful is totally situational.
(Nice sweatshirt, dun. Maryland twerps is more like it. Ha, I make a joke at your expense!)
Some white men, of course, I find to be extremely helpful. These men could help me find things in a store and I bet you I'd give that store's cleanliness and appearance very high marks.
And in this case, the stats would've gotten all mixed up if they used me for the study cuz I find this white man and this black man both verrrry helpful.
Like my homie* D.O.C./No one can do it better!, said Dre back in '92,and you know what? Your dude speaks the truth.
06/10/58: happy birthday, D.O.C.! You're an exceptional human being in my world because of No One Can Do It Better, oh and how's your voice these days? You get that operation yet?
(This might be just a common-knowledge-in-LA thing; he had a car accident many years ago that severed his vocal chords)
I usually live in 1993 but today it's '89 so that I can pretend like "It's Funky Enough" just came out and we're listening to it on KDAY in my Maxima.
It is, in fact, funky enough, but "Lend Me An Ear" is a super banger that gets forgotten, much to my dismay. (16-24 year olds, you can thank Lakai for putting you up on game.)
"The show, which takes place on Tuesday, Oct. 13 at 9:00 PM, will commemorate the storied label's 25 years in the industry, including segments on founders Rick Rubin and Russell Simmons.
Also a part of the event, as is now customary, many hip hop stars will show to perform some of the label's biggest hits, both past and present.
In its sixth year, the annual event will be hosted by comedian Tracy Morgan for the third time in a row. It will take place at the Brooklyn Academy of Music."
I think the kids call the place BAM, no? I haven't got a stitch to wear to something like this, and I need to go hard in the dress & heels department if I'm gonna be Russell's date. The show's not 'til October, though, so I will have plenty of time to get a killer, tight, pretty dresslike Bar's to wear to the show. I heard Russ is actually suing Def Jam at the moment so this event could be slightly awkward for all parties present, but he doesn't really involve me in industry politics so I don't know the whole story.
I'll get to see Rubin's rabbinical beard live and in person, and ask him about Johnny Cash and Serj Tankian. And I'll shake Slick Rick's hand and be so breathless and amazed and fangirl-ish that I'll probably forgive him on the spot for laying down a verse this year on a song by that hideous Ash Roth (Rick the Ruler gets a One-Time Wackness Pass just for being Rick the Ruler, please note). And at the pre-show dinner, of course Russ and I are gonna be seated at a table with the Beastie Boys; Buddhists are vegetarian, so MCA will probably order the pasta dish.
Caramel complected/body like heaven (ummm no). Your favorite nerdy bikini-clad sarcasm peddler.
Tomboyish tendencies in a girly package.
Music nerd making my way in the world. The more emotion I put into it/the harder I rock.
I bow at the altar of Phil Spector, Rick Rubin, and Large Pro.
I find that I can amuse myself to no end. I got front & back, and side to side. I am a real person and NOT viral marketing for Stones Throw. I also have a government job so please don't tell too many people I'm in my bathing suit on the Internet.
Nothin else to tell, really.
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