Talented Weirdo Who I'd Almost Let At It

Almost.

Merry Christmas, baby brother

Complete with commentary by The Clyzza!

I braved Cool Guy Central (Supreme) to make this purchase.
(Dudes were super nice, though--thanks, Jav!!)

I'm pretty sure this is why all the boys call me Breezy

Swagger Jack! Code Red!!

ASHER ROTH IS A PROBLEM FOR ME.

Ash, I liked you the first time I heard your suburban steez, when you were on my television and your name was John Brown. One of you in the universe is plenty so umm, please see yourself out. It's not fresh and/or irreverent cuz you know I seen a hundred you's at the Short Stop. You are an archetype within every major metropolitan area, including this one. There's 2 or 3 of you whenever I walk down Fairfax, and at least 6 of you whenever I go out to an establishment where alcoholic beverages are served. You normally go out with your boys on Friday, but for some reason you're there on a Tuesday and you come up to me when I'm at the bar and look at my frame and I tell you I have a boyfriend even though I really do not just so you will please stop. (Oh, also, I don't have a cell phone. And ummm...I'm just visiting from out of town). You're so psyched on your pants & shoes & bachelor's degree & smirk. Good job buddy, you found Undefeated and you know all the words to "Tried By Twelve."

Fall back, Morrisville. You know what, I loved college too--mostly cuz you weren't there with me.

For some reason I find this human next-levels-of-next-level annoying, like he personally borrowed my Portishead at Roseland vinyl and never returned it.

And Steve Rifkind, you should be ashamed of yourself, sir.

Clinton Sparks ft. Pharrell & The Clipse - "Still Got It 4 Cheap"

Goddammit if I don't LOVE some COKE RAPS
and those spare, icy beats
made by Pharrell's handsome, annoying ass.

The knocking-ness of this is undeniable. OMG, aural sex yet AGAINNNN.
Come tip me at Body Tap; I go on when the DJ puts this on.

MINE.

We got a lot of private jokes to share.

Oh Word?

A lil etymology never hurt nobody. Today's word: PARIAH!

"In prehistorical times much of southern India was occupied, apparently, by a black-skinned race of primitive people (sorry--the book is from 1950). Some time after the Aryan invasion, which may have been as early as 2000 B.C., these people were subjugated and forced into menial positions. Gradually, after the caste system was introduced, they became separated into different lowly classes. Among these people was one class known as Pariah, which, from the name, indicates that at one time they were the hereditary beaters of the drum (parai) at various festivals. Eventually they became agricultural laborers and, among the British, household servants. They are not the lowest caste, but are regarded by the Brahmans as "untouchable." Among the British, therefore, pariah became a general term for anyone of low caste, but especially for the lowest of the low, or for those of no caste at all. Hence, although the application is not strictly correct, any person (or animal) who is an outcast among his kind has become known as a pariah."

- Thereby Hangs a Tale (1950), by Charles Earle Funk

Sundress x sunshine x making out

Sugar - Stevie Wonder

Rum I love you but you're bad and you often hurt me

I am hung over but this kinda makes it all better.

It really happened, Pop

I have no words, I just don't.
Fucking amazing.

I still whip your ass, you thirty-six in a karate class

Waiting for the election is not killing it right now.

-MH

Thank you, baby brother

"The motor city's burnin" - John Lee Hooker.

Curtis Cross & Royce (175.26 cm). From the 3:30 point onward, let's just stop, listen, and admire...

Never Not Funny

Thank you, baby brother

That Pay Jay record is simply impossible to find without cyber-digging so I might have to cheat. It's ok as long as...wait for it...no one knows.

No One Knows - J Dilla

Oh Word?

A lil etymology never hurt nobody. Today's word: DEBAUCHERY!

"In the Middle Ages it was no more difficult to persuade a man to leave his work, perhaps for conversation or a convivial drink, than it is today. The French of that period had a word for that. It was desbaucher, literally, to lure from one's place of work or from one's duty to a master."

- Thereby Hangs a Tale (1950), by Charles Earle Funk

It's That Fiery Punch

...of corny humor and Wu lyrics

No Heartbreak In Sight

Get A Track Bike And Find Yourself

Smart, funny, nice Billy. First thing he said to me was, "Whaddup girl, you should really think about losing some weight" with a big smile and it's been lovely ever since.

Allen Toussaint, Make It Clap!

Hand Clapping Song - The Meters

Overrated (Because I Wasn't There)

Rock the Bells, Jones Beach. Nas, ATCQ, De La, Ghostface & Raekwon, Meth & Red, Mos Def, Afrika Bambaataa, the Cool Kids, Spank Rock.

-- Talib Kweli came out during Mos Def's set and they had a Black Star reunion. People lost their shit.
-- Jay-Z came out during Nas' set and performed "Black Republican" [and, according to Billboard.com, "Success"] with him. Everyone lost their shit.
-- Busta Rhymes came out during A Tribe Called Quest's set, right at the point in "Scenario" when Q-Tip says, "Yo Mr. Busta Rhymes, tell him what I did." People in China, Estonia, and Long Island lost their shit.

Slick Rick, EPMD, and Pharoahe Monch also stopped by. [Source]

"We Should Go Back to My Place and Do Some Math"

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel Or Something To That Effect

By Aaron Kaplan
May 2, 2007 | THE ONION Issue 43•18

Excuse me, beautiful, mind if I stand next to you and do some talking? I don't mean to intrude, but I couldn't help but notice that you were sitting all alone and enjoying yourself. There's just one problem: If you're here right now, then that means heaven must be missing an angel or something to that effect. Though I doubt anyone's noticed since there are so many angels up there anyway.

I'm trying to say that you're hot.

You look pretty tired, though. Maybe it's because you've been running through my mind for a while. I think about hot women a lot, so for the purposes of this argument let's just say you were one of the ones that I'd previously been thinking about, even though we just met. Are you considering having sex with me yet? Because if not, I could ask you if it hurt when you hit the ground after falling from heaven. I know I already said the thing about you being an angel, but maybe you didn't catch it the first time. Or if you did, maybe it will seem like I'm building off that. I'm trying to tell you that you're pretty like an angel I want to sleep with, is the point.

What else is there? Oh, are you from Tennessee? Because I think you're a seven. I might have gotten that wrong, but you get the gist of it. I'm using the name of a state to express how much I'd like to see you naked, but I don't really care where you're from.

Your eyes are blue like the sky or water, whichever you prefer. And your lips are really red like—I don't know—that girl's lips over there. Also, I'd look great cumming on your shirt. Or your shirt's becoming, I mean. I want to be cumming on your shirt or in your general vicinity is what I'm getting at. I didn't quite say it right, but the sentiment is there.

So do you have a boyfriend or what? Because I don't have all night to waste on talking to you if you're dating someone.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket so I can see myself in your pants? How about a quarter, so I can call my mother and tell her I found the girl of my dreams? I'm not actually going to call her, because she's been dead for two years and it's actually up to 35 cents now anyway and I'd probably just use my cell phone, but I'll take the quarter from you if it will get you in the sack.

We should go back to my place and do some math. We'll add a bed, subtract our clothes, and do other math stuff related to fucking.

Look, it's obvious where this is leading. I'm saying all the right things and you haven't walked away yet, so let's just cut to the chase: Do you come here often? If so, would you like to go back with me to my apartment and have sex with me? What if I told you I would rearrange the alphabet for some reason? I'm thinking of asking you what you'd like for breakfast tomorrow, in the hopes that you might sleep with me because I implied that it's inevitable.

I guess I should say I think I've seen you someplace before. And I don't mean earlier, when I was staring at you. I'm pretty sure we've met in a past life or in my dreams or something, so you should feel comfortable lowering your standards around me. Also, your shoes are nice, so I'm sensitive and observant. If you really need me to, I could buy you a drink to show you I have some money and then we could do it in the bathroom.

Wait, don't go. Just one more thing. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours so I can call you later about having sex?

-Link

Cot Damn

Rick Rubin will work his bearded magic on the Clipse!!! For 1 song, anyway.

According to a Billboard.biz report, the new album is called Till the Casket Drops, and it will reportedly feature all-too-infrequent rap producer Rick Rubin behind the boards for an as-yet-untitled tune. Rick fucking Rubin!

- Link

Betcha By Golly Wow

Music Retailer Thrives Serving Captive Audience

By REUTERS
Published: July 19, 2008

NEW YORK (Billboard) - As music retailers struggle to stay in business, a Los Angeles firm is doing nicely targeting a demographic that gets bigger every year -- prisoners.

More than 2.3 million people were locked up in federal, state or local systems at midyear 2007, according to the U.S. Dept. of Justice, and they want their Michael Jackson and Pink Floyd just like everyone else.

Enter North Hollywood-based Pack Central, which runs a mail-order operation for about 50,000 prisoners. It stocks about 10,000 CDs and 5,000 cassette titles.

Cassettes account for about 60% of unit sales, since CDs are contraband in many prisons because the hard plastics can be used for nefarious means. The screws that hold many cassettes together are also verboten, so owner Bob Paris must manually remove them. A bigger problem is that the labels have largely abandoned cassettes.

Paris says he started stockpiling cassettes five years ago. "People thought I was nuts when I invested tons of money in analog prerecorded music on tape," he says.

He plans to order small runs of his best-selling catalog titles from cassette manufacturers, although some new titles would also sell well in the format, Paris adds.

Best-selling current titles include Lil Wayne's "Tha Carter III," Mariah Carey's "E=MC2," Usher's "Here I Stand," Rihanna's "Good Girl Gone Bad," Nickelback's "All the Right Reasons," Leona Lewis' "Spirit" and Lyfe Jennings' "Life Change."

Perennial sellers include Al Green's "Greatest Hits," Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory," Michael Jackson's "Thriller," Pink Floyd's "The Dark Side of the Moon" and a best-of collection by the Stylistics.

Pack Central sends out its catalog twice a year, with monthly mailers featuring new titles. Prisoners pay for product through money orders or checks drawn on a spendable trust account set up by their family members.

But Pack Central has to be careful even here. "If someone, due to a math error, shorted us $1, we used to fulfill the order and ask them send us a buck extra the next time," Paris says. "But that is extending prisoners' credit, which felons are not allowed to have, since they don't have the capacity to enter into a contract. So we got into trouble for that and now have to lop off an item and refund them the difference."

- Link

John Mayer Guitar Picks Designed By KAWS

Can't knock the hustle. Oh wait, I can knock it. These take me to the next level of annoyance. John Mayer hasn't been fresh since he backed Chappelle on "The Facts of Life" theme song.

Madame Butterfly, Let Me In Your House of Pleasure

Turntable Lab--Eddie Kendricks' "My People...Hold On"! It's on "Donuts," dunnies! Plus "Maggot Brain" (Eddie Hazel), and a lil Camp Lo for the kids. I took my purchases up to the counter and I got all self-conscious because I was getting a dancehall song about ladies' vaginas. Awk-waaaard. The song kinda sucks anyway, so all that embarrassment was for nothing.

Irina Sheik Is Stunning

Tiff said her friend thinks I look Russian. I don't get that one as a guess very often when it comes to my ethnic background but I'll take it, since it means I'm in the company of the foxy Irina. I always love the exotic-looking ones with big features. Swoon.

Killin 'Em Hard With Them Lady Pants!

Minus Fonzworth's "verse" (ugh), this is the Song of the Summer*




*for the next few days

Rage Against the Machine! Oh, the Irony.

Guantanamo Torture Playlist

According to the British law group Reprieve, military interrogators at Guantanamo Bay (as well as in Iraq and Afghanistan) used loud music as a means of torturing detainees, including songs by artists such as Metallica, AC/DC, Eminem, and the theme song to the children's television show Barney & Friends.


Fast Facts

1. Loud music used to torture detainees
2. Torture playlist released by British law group Reprieve
3. Loud music is often used to keep prisoners awake during sleep deprivation sessions

Most Played Songs

• "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
• "Bodies" by Drowning Pool
• "Shoot to Thrill" by AC/DC
• "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC
• "I Love You" from Barney & Friends
• "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen
• "Babylon" by David Gray
• "White America" by Eminem
• Theme song to Sesame Street

"Bulls On Parade," Rage Against the Machine, "Stayin' Alive," the Bee Gees, "Raspberry Beret," Prince

-Link



Courtesy of the Groundswell Blog:

The Torture Playlist Stickers

Mother Jones’s Torture Playlist includes the music used in American military prisons to torture detainees, and ranges from Christina Aguilera to Sesame Street. I’ve developed the stickers below to raise awareness about this form of torture.

Using address labels - sized 2.25″ x 0.75″ - you can affix these stickers to CDs in your local record shop and make a small political statement about state violence. Download the PDF here.

- Link

When It's Properly Used, It's Almost Invincible

Gabriel Urist piece!

I'm the skinny girl behind you in line at Starbucks actin like it's still '93.

Not Fade Away

Show some goddamn respect, kids!!! This wouldn't be a story about a legendary Black musician if there weren't details about the industry doin' dirt. Bye-bye, Bo Diddley.

from the LA Times:

He circulated various explanations for the name over the years, but by most accounts, neighborhood kids started calling him "bow diddley" -- slang for "bully." The name also recalled the diddley bow, an African single-string guitar that was seminal to blues music.

By 1954 he was married and a fixture on the local music circuit when he decided to cut a two-song demo of his original songs "Uncle John" and "I'm a Man." Although he usually adhered to the restrained blues style of his hero, Muddy Waters, Diddley based his recordings on the exultant, frenetic music he had been exposed to in the Pentecostal church as a child.

Diddley's panache and swaggering stage presence influenced musicians on both sides of the Atlantic, among them Jagger, James Brown and Jimi Hendrix. Diddley's early use of amplified electric-guitar effects -- including reverb, echo and distortion -- also played an important part in the evolution of the sound of rock music when they were taken to further extremes by Hendrix, the Doors and others.

Blues singer-songwriter Duke Robillard, who covered "Who Do You Love" on an album he released last year, recalls being impressed when the two performed on a bill together 11 years ago. He noted Diddley's mad-scientist approach to tweaking his sound with a customized guitar.

"His guitar had effects and delay built into it so when he'd play a line it would repeat in time with the music," Robillard said last year. "That's pretty futuristic. You wouldn't think of Bo as a guy who could do that electronically. But he had more to him than his one beat."

Until the end, Diddley remained embittered about both his musical legacy and being exploited by the music industry -- he received no royalties from his classic songs until 1989 -- becoming a vocal champion of fair treatment for veteran blues and R&B musicians.

"Have I been recognized? No, no, no," Diddley told the New York Times in 2003. "Not like I should have been. Have I been ripped off? Have I seen royalty checks? You bet I've been ripped off."

The Bo Diddley sound

10:02 AM PDT, June 2, 2008

Here's a list of songs that have the Bo Diddley beat:

The Who, "Magic Bus"

George Michael, "Faith"

U2, "Desire"

Bruce Springsteen, "She's the One"

David Bowie, "Panic in Detroit"

Duane Eddy, "Cannonball"

Buddy Holly/Rolling Stones/Patti Smith (and the Dead!), "Not Fade Away"

Not Fade Away - The Rolling Stones

Johnny Otis, "Wilie and the Hand Jive"

The Stooges, "1969"

Shirley & Company, "Shame Shame Shame"

The Strangeloves/Bow Wow Wow, "I Want Candy"

The Blues Rockers, "Callin' All Cows"

Steppenwolf, "Magic Carpet Ride"

The Guess Who, "American Woman"

The Grateful Dead, "Man Smart, Woman Smarter"

Talking Heads, "Ruby Dear"

Guns N' Roses, "Mr. Brownstone"

- Link

You, Donovan Leitch, Are An Idiot

Every Thursday in the LA Times there's a feature called "My Favorite Weekend," consisting of some jackass famous or about-to-be famous actor/musician/restauranteur/club owner (you get the idea; it's never a dude named Jose from North Hollywood) with what they like to do on an ideal weekend. There are frequent mentions of amazing, life-altering bougie/yuppy things like breakfast spots, independent movie theaters, the beach, wine, music shows at Largo. It's stupid, but what can you do. Anyway, the "musician" (??) Donovan Leitch (who I only know as being Ione Skye's brother, which I only know and care about due to Ione Skye once being married to Adrock) was apparently deemed relevant enough in 2008 to be chosen for last week's edition. He says "cool hang," and it's all downhill from there:

"NATURE BOY: On Saturday morning I'd head to the art gallery at Pomona College. One of my favorite exhibits was there recently, James Turrell's "Skyscapes." He manipulates celestial beams and the color of the sky within a controlled environment. It's far-out stuff. Or maybe we'd try Descanso Gardens.

HIP TRIPS I'd grab lunch at Dusty's, a cool hang (?? ugh) in Silver Lake. I like the décor, and the produce is organic. Later I might grab a coffee at Intelligentsia, and next door is Lovecraft Bio-Fuels, where you can get your turbo-diesel Mercedes converted to run on bio-diesel.

ECHO PARKING There are great scrap yards around Echo Park, where they have doors and windows and wrought-iron candelabra. It's fun to wander around. And there's a shop called Han Cholo where they have cool jewelry and Hispanic-customized Nikes. Nice stuff."

Ohh Lawd. The use of the word "Hispanic." Describing something as "Hispanic-customized"; even if he had said "Chicano-customized," the ridiculous factor would not be lessened. You, Donovan Leitch, are an idiot.

- Link

Negative.

"Jesus, Logan. You must have a thousand hip-hop nerds stalking you."

-Jim, non-hip-hop nerd

Ummm, no. This is the greatest compliment ever (honorable mention goes to "I like your contours" guy at The Dime*). I do enjoy nerds of various ilk so it would be lovely if some stalking did occur; however, if these individuals exist they have yet to identify themselves. Until then, I'm still the skinny quiet girl at Amoeba looking for that Idris Muhammad on vinyl (unlikely, but still).

* joke. I'm joking. I'm not a Buick.

I Got A Castle In Brooklyn, That's Where I Dwell

Wild Sugar, "Bring It Here"

Auto-Tunerrrrrr

"by T-Pain: The Remix (feat. T-Pain)"

Aural Intercourse

Portishead & me, Coachella

"The fuck you mean, is he fuckin dead?"

Wu Tang is fun.

3 Stacks, "Royal Flush" verse.

"Styles will change. They say change is dang-erous
As a King standing on the terrace
While his partner pointing up at the riflemen
Coward shooter, never know when your life will end
Then live like there ain't no 'morrow
And if one come then this the motto
Now I put message in bottle
You go to the nearest beach and open your car door
And walk to the place where the sea meets the land
Yeah, it's easier to run the street than walk in the sand
Hey, I'm talking young man. As if chalk in my hand
I will take y'all little ass to school
It's cool when the kids call me Sunny, the hood calls me Stacks
The B's call me honey, Hollywood calls me back
Crack and I have a lot in common
We both come up in the 80's and we keep that bass pumping
That's a nega-tive comparison, embarrassing
Unfortunate that if you come up fortunate the streets consider you lame
Ha, I thought the name of the game was to have a better life. I guess it ain't. What a shame
I don't slang. Never slung but I'm one with the slum that has a name well fitting
Plenty cheese getting. No wonder why they call it the trap
So watch your tail and I'm not kidding
The rats and mice will give advice, they say, "you can paint and draw
Get out of here. Go show them that we're more than slanging raw."
That's when I broke into my Big Rube impression
And I tried to enlighten but that night I learned a lesson
That the morals that you think you got go out the window
When all the other kids are fresh and they got new Nintendo Wiis
And your child is down on her knees praying hard up to God for a whopper with cheese
Do you B) hit the street hard with a flair
Or do you A) go to school for heating and air?
Dare make an honest living or make a crooked killing
Or do a bit of both until you're holding on a million?
Brilliant. You got one foot in, one foot out
You put your left foot back in and then you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey til you turn your life around
That's what it's all about, 3000 out."

!

Act Like You Know My Steez