Saturday, May 9, 2009

Todd Westphal, I gotta man

I only have a certain amount of time in the day to devote to romance, and my affections are constantly being fought for by about a million hustlers of the sonic landscape.
I just can't take on yet another boyfriend at this time. Your work is lovely, however. I'll invite you over so we can hang out as friends, and you can look longingly at me while you wait for me to drop all the other dudes and finally tell you that you're the one. OH TODD.




"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment.
There is no why.
"
-Vonnegut. yet. again.




OH, you didn't get the memo that PE is the theme of the weekend?











Since you're my "special friend"/come closer for a special treat



Nobody out-Co-Flow-s ME, not even a national newspaper.

Oh LA Times, it would behoove you to get it right/get it right, get it tight. February was the month in which to celebrate the momentous occasion of Funcrusher Plus being all reissued and whatnot. I tried to tell you, and now look at you. Lookin all dumb. So sad.

In happier news, I have traveled to the wonderful land of Hip-Hop Circa 1993 and returned with this special message for all of you:

"Juvenile Techniques"
Ye olde lyrics of fire!




http://passionweiss.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/juvenile-technique.mp3

Support stuff that's independent as fuck ('member that, when you opened up the CD?), then have a nice little chuckle at the 3-star review of the album. So comical, those people on the Internets.




Friday, May 8, 2009

Episode 486: the one where you get me a time machine & a plane ticket, POST HASTE, and/or you reverse the Earth's axis so that it can be 2005 again.

A thing happened that I did not want to happen.

This event occurred and I was NOT THERE,
trying to contain my excitement while sitting in the audience but failing extensively because my little music-nerd heart would be going pitter-pat. Sigh.

File under:
Things That Do Not Wreck Shop,
Things That Upset Me,
Things That Do Not Kill It.




"The Making Of Public Enemy's
It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back:

An in-depth discussion event on the making of hip-hop's greatest album."

Event Date and Time:
February 25, 2005 – February 26, 2005 <-- awful. terrible. wack. atrocious.
Friday 6:00 - 9:30pm, Saturday 12:00 - 8:00pm

Location:
NYU
Tischman Auditorium
40 Washington Square South
between Macdougal and Sullivan St.

All events are free and open to the public. Seating is first come first served.
Picture ID will be required to enter the building. (??)

Participants:
Bill Adler, Harry Allen, Jon Caramanica, Jeff Chang, Robert Christgau, Lisa Cortes, Chuck D, Glen E. Friedman, Nelson George,Vivien Goldman, Kelly Haley, Dave Harrington, Rod Hui, Charlotte Hunter, Alan Light, John Leland, Steve Loeb, Chairman Mao, Nick Sansano, Chris Shaw, Hank Shocklee, Keith Shocklee, Biff Warren and Special Guests.

The Def Jam & Rush Arts Team - 12:00 -1:30 pm
Featuring members of the original creative staff behind the A&R, publicity, management and marketing of "Nation of Millions" and PE. With Bill Adler, Lisa Cortes, Charlotte Hunter, Biff Warren and others. Moderated by Kelly Haley.

On Hip-Hop And Political Activism:
A Conversation With Glen E. Friedman And Jeff Chang - 1:45-3:00 pm
Glen E. Friedman, author of Fuck You Heroes and The Idealist, photographed and designed the cover for "Nation of Millions" as well as P.E.'s first album. One of the most important photographers of his generation, he's also done definitive work with Black Flag, Ice-T, Fugazi, Beastie Boys, Minor Threat, Run-D.M.C, The original DogTown skateboarders, and many others. Acclaimed author and activist Jeff Chang is the author of the new book Can't Stop Won't Stop: The History of the Hip Hop Generation.


OHANDDIDIMENTION
--

(wait for it)



Producing The Album - 3:30-5:00 pm <--!! YES, the rhythm/the rebel!
Featuring the original engineers, Greene Street studio owners and members of the famous Bomb Squad production team with Dave Harrington, Rod Hui, Steve Loeb, Nick Sansano, Chris Shaw, Hank Shocklee, Keith Shocklee. Moderated by Chairman Mao.


Sadface.
Sadface.
It is unclear why my henchmen did not alert me to this situation back in '05.
Not cute.
Make me wanna holler/the way they do my life.





Ray Bradbury reminds me it's ok to listen to coke raps.













Yes, hiphop dorks, I am aware of the superior job of flipping & bouncing that Billy Paul break that 9th Wonder & Dilla did. I'm one of you, remember? The thing is, I didn't feel it was appropriate to post because today's theme is coke raps, silly.

Mighty Healthy

No Fucking Way: British version!

Rich people are healthier because if you're rich you're less stressed out, oh and also it allows you to buy better medical care, according to recent research out of the University of Manchester. Thanks, guys. Thanks.


"(Those in) lower socio-economic classes, and those with less education and wealth, are more likely to suffer from both self-reported illnesses such as depression and also from long-term conditions such as high blood pressure, diabetes and obesity.

'Wealth increases access to medical care and other material and psychosocial resources,' (!!) said Mauricio Avendano, of Erasmus Medical Center in Rotterdam, The Netherlands.

A U.S. study done in 2005 followed 478 Americans over nine years, before and after they became disabled, and found that wealth generally allowed 'substantially better well-being, and less sadness and loneliness.'"







Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dyme Def feat. Saigon - "Pick Up Ya Flow"

Seattle, you've done it again! I will hate this song in approximately 6 days due to oversaturation, but you know what: it's important to live in the moment so let's not worry too much about what the future might bring.
(Plus I haven't liked a song-title-as-instruction this much since "Gimme the Loot.")

Bean One, you win. You're my official Favorite Caucasian of the Day. I approve of your production techniques; don't let it go to your head.
I live and die for that "superhero" sound right around 00:54! More, please!
I need it as a sound effect in real life, for all the times I do things that amaze & astound...







PS--
Unrelated, but I would be remiss if I did not add: OH RONALD.


flagrant, adj: Conspicuously bad, offensive, or reprehensible.

Rebranding America

"Right now America is like a company teetering on bankruptcy -- we have lost so much credibility and brand currency over the past eight years. And so we invited some of the best visual communicators we know (from ad gurus to artists) to create original advertising concepts that could redefine our country's image. Welcome to U.S.A. 2.0."



Big bank take little bank! Alex Bogusky,
you're a goddamn genius and I'm officially endorsing you:


Oh Word?

That Black Lips song got me thinking about it.

Today's word: HENDIATRIS! OMG you guys love it, right? Stalk me.

"When three words, parted by a comma, are used to express one idea, then it’s a hendiatris. It is unlike hendiadys, where two words are used to express an idea (sound and fury, nice and loud). This figure of speech uses words that give off a certain common characteristic. For example: wine, women and song. These three point towards a certain lifestyle and also towards the character of the person who leads it.

The word hendiatris comes from Greek meaning 'one through three.' "

-Link


Veni, vidi, vici.
Wine, women & song.

Sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
Life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness.
Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.
Eat, drink, & be merry.

Additionally, since I know you guys only like me cuz of my well-known 1-2 punch of lovely rack and music nerdery:

Me, myself & I.
Rum, sodomy & the lash.
Beats, rhymes, & life.
Earth, Wind & Fire.
Stunts, blunts & hiphop.




Like Colombian fishscale, ask my man Ishmael.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

K-V - "Clap to This"

05/06/09. Dear diary, I found my new favorite song for the next 2.5 days!
Everything I know about this individual named K-V is as follows:

1. He's from Denmark
.
2. He manages to do something fresh and wonderful with that tired old Rakim snippet.
3. His album will have about 57 guest MCs on it. Royce, Prince Po, Slum Village, et al.
4. He knows I love handclaps.
5. He sits around and chats with Rae.
















6. He came out of nowhere and is great. The end.



Mic Geronimo "Clap To This" from K-V on Vimeo.


Things that amuse me, 05/06/09

1. Donny Goines, I wish I liked your verses over beats a little more


cuz I'm in love with your album cover.

PS, the next time I have to come in here I'm crackin skulls.



2. When you like boy things like I do and you watch televised competitions of sport, you get subjected to a jillion sports cliches at press conferences and during on-the-field interviews and pregame and postgame and halftime interviews. They cause me minor distress because they're dumb and annoying and a big waste of everyone's time (I could be reading or shopping for swimsuits with my precious time, Lamar Odom/Pete Carroll/Michael Turner!).

There's a mind-reader out there on the Internets who lovingly crafted the bracket below just for me.
"It is what it is." "110%." "We left it all on the field."
(the only one I woulda included: "We're not resting on our laurels/we can't allow ourselves to get complacent; we're focusing on the next game." Shut UP.)




OBVS I had to pick "Lord & Savior" as the champion, people! Have we just met?





3. MPC & SP-12 USB FLASH DRIVES! STOP IT.

Next-levels cuteness.




NYC Public Library, marry me

Click, please, and just stare at it.
Sigh.

If we ever move to NYC and I need to get away from you for an hour or two (this happens; it doesn't mean I don't love you), I'll either be at The Strand or here. I'll be back by dinner, don't worry.

The lions out front are called Patience and Fortitude.
(sorry for nerding out once again).


Hold it now, HIT IT


"The past is a work of art, free of irrelevancies and loose ends."

- Max Beerbohm

Live it, love it, own it, shut it down, change the game, break my heart into a million tiny pieces.

Summer of 87, according to that caption. I'm pretty sure this busload of illustrious mic wielders would not have appreciated a very very young Logan tagging along (no rack, no hips, all I cared about was juice and rainbows and ponies during this era). See, cuz this was back before MCA got Buddhist, back when Adrock was talking about using Wiffleball bats inappropriately. I kinda miss those knuckleheads. Sigh.

Rickster, I wish you weren't such an egotistical jackass (don't try to deny dude, I've heard stories) because I am in deep, throbbing love with your photographic stylings.
I kinda have this thing where if I like someone's creations I assume he/she is a nice individual. This, I have found, is not always the case. Disappointment, tragedy, frowny face, etc.


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Kurt Vonnegut. Again.

"Music makes practically everybody fonder of life than he or she would be without it."






PS:


Jake One instro! "Open Up"

The old "childhood picture on the MySpace page" is a
time-tested method for appealing to lady fans of the hiphop music.



Things are getting pretty serious between us. I need this like the air I breathe.


Remember when I wasn't so sure about him? I was foolish. It turns out he's nice to me and pleases my ears and I like being around him and that's really all I need.
(If you have that new DOOM, you're already familiar! "Rap Ambush"! Microwave Mayo"! No awkward introductions necessary.)





Logan. Sarah. Ron-Ron. Rakim.

1. People named Logan are amazing. This concludes today's lesson.





I first saw these via that SK blog that I'm a groupie for, but for some reason it was not conveyed to me that the legendarily named Logan Walters is the human behind them. Get 'em, Logan! Don't you dare stop! Here's the Cuban link. (tee hee)


2.
The epicness of Sarah Palin's Twitter background makes me feel like going to church and talking with a Fargo accent and shooting wolves from a helicopter. Classy and understated.





3. Pouty face. I don't feel like talking about it. I'm good; I just need a little time.
And maybe a pony. And some ice cream.

OK, Ron Artest, let's chat for a moment. You get points from me for generally being crazy and entertaining. I don't care for the choking of the girlfriend, but surprisingly I think brawls are kind of amusing so you occupy a warm, special place in my tomboy heart from way back in '04. Ohh, and the Circuit City thing that my little brother told me about. CLASSIC.

Why don't you take yourself and your lovely hairdo and focus more on that label of yours? Also, you seemed to have some real weed-selling skills so that might be the industry better suited to you. Start yesterday, please. Your services won't be needed on Wednesday, k?
Bye bye.



4. Thinking about Rakim being produced by DJ Quik makes me a little cranky. (I reserve the right to deny ever making this statement if I love the end result.)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Pending.

The office has a strict no-blogging policy, how many times I gotta tell you.
But just you wait 'til I get home.


05/03/09. Sundays are for church, grocery shopping, cooking, and music nerdery.



Episode 464: the one where Logan remembers being a young girl

and wishing the sounds coming from the radio would always be that good.



Dear Quincy Jones break,

I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. If you like it, you can take it; if you don't, send it right back.

I wanna be on you.

Love,
Logan




PS, Hi, can we discuss briefly the ruling-ness of this video in the year of our lord, nineteen hundred and ninety-three? Sometimes you gotta go back and revisit the things you love, you know? Give yourself a little reminder.

Echo effect on the vocals, that's what makes it esp heart-wrenching to hear these lads talk about unrequited love. It's the echo, I just know it.
J-Swift, I see you.







Jacques Cousteau could never get this low.

"If you would be
unloved
and
forgotten,
be
reasonable."

-Kurt Vonnegut






on my mind cuz of
that documentary.


Additionally, if this affair is going to work out between us, you MUST understand a key thing about me:

this here is one of my most favoritest photographic situations ever in life.


Russell Jones, when asked what his plans were for 1998:

"Lookin for new girls to put babies in."



Mrs. Prez is a dimepiece. Sean Carter & the son of god.

1. The airbrushin' and fake-body-parts-lovin' squad over at my favorite mag Maxim have crowned Michelle Obama the 93rd hottest woman in the world. Like many things in my life, I can't tell if this is ridiculously awful or kinda fresh.

As long as the editors didn't use the phrase "She could get it"* in determining her placement on the list, I guess I can endorse this.





2. I'm pretty sure this is not a joke. All the Jesus people keep saying that he'll be returning any day now, at which point I'll ask, "The Ruler's back?" And we'll all laugh & laugh.





*
Use of this phrase automatically gives the speaker immediate placement on the "Dudes Who Will Not Be Seeing Me Naked" list. UGH.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

3 Stacks sets my body aflame

by awesomely and cordially denying Kid Cudi's request for a COLLAB!
"HA-HA!" - Nelson Muntz.

In typical ALL CAPS fashion on his MySpace blog, Kid's all:

I ONLY HAVE 3 FEATURES FOR MY ALBUM WHICH IS MY BIG HOMIE SNOOP, KANYE AND COMMON*. THE OTHER 2 ARTISTS I ASKED SO FAR TO BE ON MY ALBUM: LILY ALLEN AND ANDRE 3000, HAVE DECLINED MY REQUEST FOR A COLLAB. IT MADE ME REALIZE THO, DO I REALLY WANNA GO IN ON FEATURES? SURE I LIKE THESE ARTISTS BUT THIS FIRST ALBUM NEEDS TO BE ABOUT WUT I CAN DO.

*People on your own label don't count. Nice try, buddy.

So Cudi's all, "Dear Mr. Benjamin, I've been rappin for about 18 months now and I must say that the Idlewild soundtrack had a huge influence on me. Have you done any other albums? And would you please put in a hot guest appearance on one of my tracks? PACE."

And Dre's all, "Ummm, I'm busy that day. And yes, the fact that you wear your OWN NAME on your gear has influenced my decision. Also, the word is spelled 'WHAT.' Now please excuse me, as I have to go for a ride in my spaceship and get back to being weird and spacey and swelteringly amazing. Word is bond like Super Glue. OH YAY-ERRR."




Saturday, May 2, 2009

No tricks, no tricks baby!


Through the lights cameras and action, glamour glitters and gold
...



If You Think It (You May As Well Do It) - The Emotions



Edith Sitwell.

Items I need in order to keep living, part 6,908

I see my future and all of these items are contained therein. We are destined to be together.
Please help.


1.
Oh my! Summery days, drinkin a Coke from the store on the corner of my block, a hundred degrees outside, just listening to records in the lovely little studio apartment. Or for trysts with my boyfriend.


2.





3. Okayplayer.com, you'll be hearing from my attorney for constantly and successfully extracting cash from my checking account. Knock it off.





Jesus thinks waterboarding is fine


Jesus monsters are more likely to support torture than heathens such as myself.

No. fucking. way.

I've always found evangelicals to be a compassionate and intelligent lot who would not endorse such tactics! Somebody hold me, cuz I'm about to fall over from surprise.



"The more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists, according to a new survey.

More than half of people who attend services at least once a week -- 54 percent -- said the use of torture against suspected terrorists is "often" or "sometimes" justified. Only 42 percent of people who "seldom or never" go to services agreed, according to the analysis released Wednesday by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life.

White evangelical Protestants were the religious group most likely to say torture is often or sometimes justified -- more than six in 10 supported it. People unaffiliated with any religious organization were least likely to back it. Only four in 10 of them did.

The survey asked: "Do you think the use of torture against suspected terrorists in order to gain important information can often be justified, sometimes be justified, rarely be justified, or never be justified?""




Top rankin.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Isaac Bashevis Singer.




Basslines that make me wanna take my pants off, episode 3


File under "techniques to be sweated."






Courtesy of the producer who has been trying to seduce me for years with his bars & breaks & drum loops & keyboard stabs. It's really quite charming the way he courts me.





Pale faces with mics. The Prez & the girls; The Prez & The Louisville Lip. Sleuthy skills = new breaks.

1. OMG, an upcoming "Test Your Knowledge of Mic Wielders of the Caucasoid Persuasion" contest!
Copywrite. Cage. Paul Wall. Ill Bill. El-P. "It's 2009; I'm tryin to be post-racial."





2.
(Pete Souza)




3.
The new Pete Rock that is currently making my life worth living? It has a BREAK and I found it and this is proof that I was good in a past life!